Comments on If You Give a Prof a Project...

• I used to like you, Dean Dad, but why are you so anti-faculty
• Posted by Anonymous on November 4, 2009 at 7:30am EST

• If a dean is given a project by a vice president or a president,
  chances are you'll ask faculty to do the project instead of you, because "you're busy"
  when it is not their job
  since their job is to teach, prepare for classes, advise students, and conduct research.

  Some will complain and not do it - because it is not their job, after all
  Some will complain a bit, like doing it once they get into it, and will do a good job
  Many will do it and not complain and do a good job
  Even though it is NOT their job.

  And the dean will take the credit for it,
  unless of course, administrators higher than the dean hated it
  then, of course, the dean will stand aside and say
  "oh, those stupid, greedy faculty who always want money for their time, effort, and time away from their duties."
  Even though it was not the faculty's job in the first place.

  (PS - Dean Dad -read the advice to new administrators in today's IHE -- I think you have forgotten most of it lately with your anti-faculty screeds)

• Posted by Cranky SOB on November 4, 2009 at 8:30am EST

• Yeah, very funny.

  If it's a junior prof on the tenure track, then explain how the project relates to his eventual tenure and promotion case. Demonstrate that similar projects have contributed to the tenure and promotion of other junior faculty.

  And don't just tell me that I can eventually write a journal article about the project. I can sit in my office analyzing data and write a journal article. It's probably much less work to produce an article that way than to run the project you are suggesting.

  So basically, if you have a project you want me to do, then don't just tell me how much the institution values these types of projects. Talk is cheap. Show me that it is tenurable activity.

  If you aren't prepared to do that, then please, just STFU and let me work on things that the university has ALREADY DEMONSTRATED is valued in tenure and promotion decisions. I refuse to put my tenure and promotion at risk over your flavor of the month project.

  And please avoid the snarky insinuations that "faculty are always a problem." From my point of view, "administrators are always a problem." So there.

• Misreading it
• Posted by Dean Dad on November 4, 2009 at 8:45am EST

• This isn't anti-faculty (and neither am I). It's about unintended consequences, and the need to think a few steps ahead. Most boondoggles start with the best of intentions.

• Posted by Another Dean on November 4, 2009 at 9:15am EST

• This is very funny and well appreciated! (I loved If You Give a Mouse a Cookie as well!)

• mea culpa
• Posted by Gary Davis , Principal at Board Solutions on November 4, 2009 at 9:30am EST

• That may be what you intended to say but clearly people took it the other way.

  The onus, Dean Dad, falls on you. Jus say, "Mea culpa" and move on.

• if it quacks like a duck
• Posted by ezry on November 4, 2009 at 10:00am EST

• I'm glad it wasn't intended to be anti-faculty, because it sounded that way to me, too. (That's one challenge with humor: you can mock yourself or your in-group all day long and be funny, but put The Other Guy's name in the joke, and he'll get grumpy.)

  Besides, the difference between "award-winning / money-making / recruitment-generating / praiseworthy advance in knowledge/action" and "boondoggle" is only 100% definable using hindsight. Faculty and admins (and town councils, and Scout troops, and kitchen remodelers) are equally capable of using exactly the process noted above to produce either result.

• Why Are You Giving a Prof a Project?
• Posted by Steve , Assitant Professor on November 4, 2009 at 11:30am EST

• As noted by an earlier commenter, professors are paid, to teach, prep for courses, do research (if it's a research institution), serve on committees, attend faculty meetings, etc.

  The only way a professor is going to take on a project is if they get release time or a stipend..if they're amenable in the first place.

  As far as the conference is concerned, did you expect the faculty member to pay their own way? Why do you insinuate that it is a bad thing if the faculty member actually got something out of attending the conference in the first place.

  If you're so worried about the professor asking for additional release time, then why not just kick it down to a lower level administrator whose job it is to do what you say?

  If you believe in your heart of hearts that your posting isn't anti-faculty, you are severely out of touch with reality.

• Here's A Quarter- Rent Some Humor
• Posted by And Humor Inverts Reality at Erehwon U. on November 4, 2009 at 11:30am EST

• Well, DD, this exchange just goes to show that you were spot on about the things an admin can and cannot say. If I told this to my colleagues as a faculty member they would grin and fill in names (maybe even their own). If I said this when I was an administrator (even only an interim) they would have lynched me, as they have figuratively done you. Guess what guys...in a somewhat biting way DD is close enough to be amusing (and therefore ruffle feathers)! This was worth a small chuckle. On the other side so is the snark "Two deans walk past a budget cut... Hey, stop laughing, it COULD happen." When we stop laughing and we don't cry we lash out - Must be mid-terms.

• Hypothesis
• Posted by Faculty & Parent on November 4, 2009 at 11:30am EST

• Those who saw this as anti-faculty probably don't have young children and/or never read one of Numeroff's books.

• I've Read If You Give A Mouse A Cookie
• Posted by Steve on November 4, 2009 at 12:00pm EST

• The difference is that in the book the mouse wanted the cookie. I doubt faculty want to be assigned projects by deans.

• To Faculty and Parent
• Posted by Anonymous on November 4, 2009 at 2:45pm EST

• Maybe we are and may we are not parents. But the blog post/snark didn't say "for parents only" or anything like that. As another poster said -- if his intent was not to bash faculty, he did not succeed AS A WRITER, since people here and his own blog CLEARLY thought that was what he was doing was bashing faculty.

  So again, intent is not what counts -- what actually wrote is. And it was largely anti-faculty -- not about budgetary sink holes.

• Laughter is good
• Posted by Phred on November 4, 2009 at 2:45pm EST

• I thought this was amusing as well as largely true, but then I would have the same response to a similar screed about administrators or about librarians like myself. There is a universal sentiment a Lutheran pastor once expressed well, "How much is enough? A little bit more." This is true for salaries, grants, resources, staff, buildings, etc. The principle is true for my cat. If we give him something he wants, he lobbies us for has another item on the agenda he keeps, and then another. Dogs are the same way. That is why the books (Give a mouse a cookie, Give a moose a muffin) are so popular; we recognize ourselves there. I don't think Dean Dad needs to apologize; why apologize for telling the truth? At most, he could do a similar one for administrators like himself.

• If you send a VP to a conference
• Posted by Professor XYZ , Dept. Chair at a Community College on November 4, 2009 at 11:45pm EST

• If you send a community college VP to a conference

  She'll stay in the finest hotels and eat the finest foods... All at college expense.

  She'll come back with lots of GREAT ideas that worked well at Ivy League University.

  She'll ask the Deans to implement the new ideas (on a limited budget and without course releases).

  The Deans will ask the faculty to implement the new ideas.

  The faculty will communicate the stupidty of the new ideas to the Dean.

  The Dean will nod his head in agreement, but will insist that the VP is serious.

  The Dean will be unable to persuade the VP that her ideas are tragically stupid and nearly impossible to implement at Podunk Community College

  The Dean will come back to the the faculty. The faculty will reluctantly agree to do the project.

  The faculty will communicate the need for time to work on the project if a quality job is desired.

  The Dean will tell the Vice President that the faculty need a course release and a budget.

  The VP will say to herself... "I work 70 hours a week. They hardly do anything around here. No course releases or budgets... AND, I want a quality job done on these projects."

  The faculty will try to make these GREAT ideas work, without course releases or a budget.

  The project will fail because it was a dumb idea for Podunk Community College, and because it was not properly supported by the members of the administration.

  The VP will blame the RESISTANT faculty for the failure of the project.

  The VP will attend another conference and come back with more GREAT ideas from IVY League University.

  The cycle starts all over again.

• Come on it is Funny
• Posted by another faculty member on November 6, 2009 at 8:15pm EST

• Having read the "if you give a mouse a cookie" and others in this series, I chuckled as I read through the poem. I would like to offer a friendly edit....
  If you changed the first line to
  "If you allow a prof to take on his/her pet project"
  folks might see it for what I think you were trying to say and not get caught up in the fact that the prof was "given" the project. If they are not familiar with those books, they may not have gotten the literary reference.
  This was a great use of the style in those books and I think rings very true of how our interest in some side idea can grow and develop.
  I hope that the folks that I forward this on to have a broader sense of humor!!!

• Creative
• Posted by HB , Humanities on November 18, 2009 at 9:15am EST

• It would be nice to know that administrators recognize that educators are creative beings and creating new ways for students to understand their discipline is core to the intellectual body of knowledge they contribute. Administrators should not only advocate for this intellectual dialogue but also provide a measure of protection so that faculty do not get overloaded, overwhelmed, and overbooked. Creative beings need time and energy to create and there seems to be a measure of shortsightedness in administration about supporting, encouraging, and protecting that resource. If all groups (students, faculty, staff, admin) within higher educ were encouraged and supported, i.e. nurtured, then retention would be a minor issue. Creating a sense of place for each individual should be every institution's goal.