As I have written about before, I am in a transition phase in my life. After intensively spending most of my waking (and asleep!) hours over the past 10 years with my kids, my younger daughter has now successfully completed a year of full-time kindergarten, and went back to school a couple days ago as an enthusiastic and independent first grader. My older daughter comfortably flourishes in fifth grade at the school she now knows very well. I have more time to develop myself outside of mothering than I have for a long time. Liberating? Yes! But this liberation also causes me angst, especially at times of the year when our family routines change a lot – like now, the beginning of the school year. How best to progress in my interests as my children get older?

As an ongoing exploration of career possibilities, I made a point of talking to a couple biologists this summer about their thoughts and perspective on career paths and families. One of these biologists, who is my mother’s age, is now recognized as a central researcher in her field. In fact, growing up, I knew her as the mom of my childhood friend, although until I grew up I never thought of her beyond her role as a vigilant, involved mom. She took great pride in telling me that she had never had an official academic position, but raised her family full-time while independently authoring of a list of 59 publications in scientific journals from her husband’s lab. She relished the flexibility to be with her kids after school every day, she didn’t have any unwanted administrative duties, and she was able to travel broadly without sacrificing her job. Along the course of her career, she took a couple breaks from her research and focused on teaching: once running an intensive science program in elementary school for several years, another time working as a docent in a science museum. Her advice: “It’s not the income, it’s the outcome – flexibility is worth a lot of money, and creates a lot of opportunity.”

Another biologist I spoke to is an emeritis professor with a distinguished traditional career in marine science. In the last 10 years she has become an expert in science education and instructional materials, serving many years as panel director and as a consultant in education divisions at NSF. Most women academics her age that I know of are single, and she is not an exception. I wasn’t sure what she would think of my academic path so far, but she didn’t bat an eye. “Late-blooming post-doc,” she said, “you can return to academia if you’d like to.” Her advice: To get back into it, don’t focus on ‘rules’, but talk to people – not just any old people, people who understand families (here she proceeded to list a bunch of academics appropriate to my field). Her regrets: she wishes she had adopted a child. It just wasn’t an easy option at the time, she says.

I love these two stories for their differences. There are a lot of options out there, and more now than when these zoologists were starting out. Makes for a lot of anxiety and soul searching.