1. Low boredom threshold

“The book was the worst…no just the first couple of pages. I skimmed a summary on wikipedia for the rest….what do you mean, she dies in the end? I didn’t get that at all! Oh well I already wrote my paper – I’m not going back and re-doing it now.”

2. Lack of follow through

“The thing is I really meant to be there, I just didn’t wake up. No I have an alarm. I just slept through it.”

3. Splintered focus

“My mom is always on me about being ‘focused’. Like tonight. I’m writing a paper, checking my ex-boyfriend’s status on facebook, replying to a text on my chocolate, uploading new music to my ipod and im-ing to two different people. Clearly I’m focused – it’s not like the TV is on!”

4. Boasting about things that should embarrass them

“I totally bullsh-tted my way through that discussion, I never read the essays.”

“Me neither. You can do that in most classes if you just listen to the first people that talk and then just re-phrase what they said.”

“My friend said he graduated without ever finishing an entire book.”

“Oh cr-p, I have a paper due tomorrow – no big deal. I’ll write after lunch tomorrow – the class isn’t until 1.”

5. All or nothing mentality (the if you don’t really try you don’t really fail thing)

“I just couldn’t get it done well so I didn’t write it at all. I’m a perfectionist.”

6. Codependency

What r u doin?

in class. U?

me 2. how’s it going?

Not sure.

Me neither. U need a haircut.

Can you see it from where you are sitting?

Yeah. You want to go to wendy’s 4 lunch?

7. Helicopter Parents

Beep.

“Hello? This is Tim Smith’s mother. I wanted to speak with you regarding his final grade in the class. I’ve discussed it with my husband and we just don’t think that a B is really fair. I mean the amount of reading you expect these students to do in one semester is completely over the top. Please call me right away. “

8. Questionable taste in clothing

Well – actually I can’t mock them there. The 80’s are back in fashion. We were all questionable once….