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  • The Career Coach Is In: Pregnant as a PhD Student?

    By Megan Pincus Kajitani June 29, 2008 9:07 pm

    This week’s question is from a research university doctoral student, Ellen, and it is one I would like to throw out to others to share your experiences as well.

    Here’s Ellen’s question:

    I'm wondering if you think it's level-headed for Ph.D. students to get pregnant. I have just finished my coursework and I'm about to begin my dissertation, which will hopefully take me the standard two years to complete (if not less).

    My husband is also a student, so we are not exactly what you would even consider "middle class." I've received conflicting advice on this idea so I'm just wondering what you think about motherhood and being a Ph.D. candidate.

    Dear Ellen,

    This is an important question, a common question, and a question that will have as many varying answers as the amount of people you ask. In other words, it depends. It truly depends — on you (your personality, multi-taking ability, health, family support, etc.), on your field (which I’m assuming is not humanities, as mine was, given you are planning a max of two years of dissertation writing!), on your department, advisor, university, the list goes on.

    Some women have had positive experiences being pregnant and having children in graduate school, completing doctorates and landing jobs in the process; others have found it alienating and downright impossible. Just take a look at our anthology, Mama, PhD, and you will find several different perspectives there.

    From pregnancy complications to unsupportive colleagues or advisors to changes in personal priorities, some factors make pregnancy and graduate school seem like oil and water. And, yet, a supportive family and department, and a relatively easy pregnancy, can make the two blend like coffee and cream. It just depends.

    The numbers we have, particularly from Mary An Mason and Marc Goulden’s series of “Do Babies Matter?” studies, are not incredibly encouraging — if you want to achieve tenure, that is. We know it is significantly less likely that women who have children within five years of getting their doctorate will achieve tenure, versus men who have children early in their careers (see Elrena and Caroline’s Intro in Mama, PhD for more on this). And, yet, there are women on the smaller end of those numbers and many (including a Mama, PhD contributor or two) insist that it will only get better for moms and moms-to-be if more are able to get through the system as they want to.

    Since the 1960’s, according to researcher Barbara Lovitts, graduate students have an average of about 50% chance of finishing their programs — in some fields and for some populations the chances are greater than others. It’s tougher to finish in humanities, and for women and people of color. So, what do these numbers tell you for your situation? I’m not actually sure. I’m one who looks at all the research and then follows my gut.

    So, to answer whether it is “level-headed” to get pregnant while a doctoral student is not a simple question. Of course, is it ever “level-headed” to give your body over to growing another human being while still attempting to function as you did before you were growing another human being? (I say this as I actually am growing another human being as I write this, very close to deadline, as a matter of fact.)

    In short, I’m not sure “level-headed” is the optimal factor to base your decision on. Instead, I suggest considering what you most want, your true priorities, what you feel you may regret or not regret, your situation in your program and in your home. And then know that, whatever you decide, some things will be completely out of your hands.

    I wish you the best in making the right decision for you. And I truly hope others will chime in with experiences to share with you. As we Mama, PhD contributors know well, it can help to share our stories and read others’ stories as we navigate the decisions of career and parenthood. Then, at the end of the day, we each must decide within ourselves the right course for us.

    Wishing You Your Own Vision of Success,

    Megan

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Comments on The Career Coach Is In: Pregnant as a PhD Student?

  • Posted by Rivikah on June 30, 2008 at 4:55am EDT

  • This is so exactly the question that I've been itching to ask that I'm having a hard time believing that I didn't ask it myself. I too am looking forward to seeing any additional responses.

  • Posted by Libby on June 30, 2008 at 4:55am EDT

  • For what it's worth, I found it easier to have a baby as a graduate student than as a tenure-track asst. prof. In grad school time was a little more flexible; it took me three years instead of two to write my diss, but no one was really counting. And my (grad student) husband and I lived in subsidized housing, and were able to hire another grad student's wife as a babysitter at a reasonable rate, with very flexible hours. I even had decent health care. While I had better health care coverage on tenure track, the rest was much harder--money was oddly tighter, time was far less flexible, and I had three classes instead of one to teach (and of course I still had research deadlines).

    Your mileage may vary, of course. But I wouldn't rule out having a baby in grad school, certainly.

  • Flat-tops are out of vogue, anyway...
  • Posted by Alan on June 30, 2008 at 7:35am EDT

  • My wife just returned to her PhD program after taking a few months off to have our son, and our take on it has been something like "Yes, this is crazy, but it would be even crazier on the tenure track!"

    I don't know how universal our experience is. We're pretty fortunate in that I'm able to work & study from home so I can keep an eye on our little bundle of joy (he's in my lap right now) and we were able to get university housing just across the street from her department, which means that he's just one text message and 5-7 minutes away from breastfeeding at all times.

    But the flexibility in grad school seems a lot higher than the flexibility we're likely to find on the tenure track. (I am in absolute awe of those who manage to start a family and an academic career at the same time.)

    So my advice is: Yes, it's a little crazy, but flat-tops are out of vogue, anyway... if you really want a family, starting now might be as level-headed as it gets.

    Best of luck!

  • Is there a "good time" to have babies?
  • Posted by phoebe at AWIS , President, Association for Women in Science on June 30, 2008 at 9:20am EDT

  • No doubt- if you are a woman, having children at any stage of your career affects your ability to achieve tenure. But, as Megan points out, one major variable is your field. Informed by 40 years of advising women in universities, my sense is that the timing is not quite as critical in the humanities as in the sciences. Once a scientist is in the tenure-probationary rat race and has started to run a research lab, there is little time for those post-maternity responsibilities that cannot be easily shared with a partner. I therefore think for a women scientist it's better to find an institution with good maternity leave and child care while you are a grad student or post-doc, and go for the tenure-track position after the kids have arrived. Its healthier that way too. Oh yes- let's also not forget the part about choosing a partner who shares... and not just "helps out".

  • grad mom
  • Posted by MAMAmama on June 30, 2008 at 9:35am EDT

  • I'm single and I did a MA pregnant, giving birth nine days after graduation, and it was easy, lovely, but I was in an atypical program at St John's' college. I did a second Masters, starting when my son was almost two, and with a little help, finished on time, with honors in the thesis, but again, not a typical program, @ St Andrews in Scotland - and everyone was very supportive. Working now as an Associate Prof and Dept Chair at a CC is much, much more challenging with a young child than grad school was. Each of us has to decide what we can handle and what works.

  • Posted by Kailani on June 30, 2008 at 10:45am EDT

  • I am a Ph.D. student in a competitive department and already have a 2-year old daughter and hope to have another baby BEFORE I get to the dissertation stage. The rest of my cohort is in their twenties with no children, no spouses and no mortgages. They often wonder how I manage. It certainly hasn't been easy and I sometimes wonder if I should leave my program now and continue when my children are in school. I look around and see either women like my cohort in my department or women in their forties and fifties who have older children in school. There are very few Ph.D. students like me who are in their thirties with small children. I wonder if this is a sign...

    BUT at the end of the crazy busy day, I realize that there is no good or "convenient" time to have a baby. And if one is trying to fit a baby conveniently into their schedule, it will never happen and should not happen. The great thing about kids is they force you to reflect on what really is important in your life. If it means it's going to take you longer to finish, so what? If it means your priorities change along the way, is that so awful?

    Though the women in my cohort are often in awe of what I do, they also feel just as stressed as I do at certain times during the semester and just want to sleep, and feel they have no time whatsoever. I probably would feel the same way if I were in their situation. When you have a kid and a household to run, you suddenly become extremely good at prioritizing your time and using every minute to your advantage. Plus, when my cohort and I go on the market for positions, my kids will likely be settled into school and the craziness of toddler life, breastfeeding, potty training & childcare will no longer be issues anymore.

    Of course it helps immensely to have a supportive spouse and though I know I could do it without mine, I acknowledge it would be so much harder in every way. And then there's the issue of the biological clock and infertility issues which are a reality for many women. A friend of mine who recently defended her dissertation told me that she didn't think she could have done it without her 3 young children. They were what drove her to meet her goals along the way, but they also kept things into perspective for her. It might sound incredibly sentimental and simplistic, but the fact is that there's nothing like a child in your life to remind you what matters most when you are dealing with all the crap Ph.D. students have to deal with regardless of their personal lives (i.e. politics of the department, advisors that make your life hell, unsympathetic professors, competitive classmates, etc.).

    Also, what other job gives you so much time off in late December/January and summers off to spend with your family? If you have children and are a Ph.D. student, take the summers off, take less classes a semester, do the minimum that your assistantship requires. This does not mean your academic or research work needs to suffer along the way or that you can't be present with your family. I'd rather cut back now then when I'm on the tenure track.

    I am not implying that any of this is easy. I've certainly had my share of sleepless nights and a caffeine addiction that is somewhat out of control. But now that I have a child, I feel so differently about all of this than before I had her. BEFORE I had a child I wanted to schedule everything to the exact date (including getting pregnant and delivering a baby). Now I know better.

  • Posted by mommy with another on the way on June 30, 2008 at 1:30pm EDT

  • I had my first child after I finished my course work. I'm now working on my research in social sciences and pregnant with number 2. I'm hoping to submit a draft of my dissertation before this baby is born, then a take a few months off before my defense. I wouldn't say this is at all ideal or the way I'd suggest doing it, but we decided we couldn't wait until everything was perfect if we wanted a family. Our financial situation will be tough because my husband is working full time and taking grad courses part time. Fortunately I have some scholarship money to help. After the baby I'm not planning to get an academic career because I'm not willing to put in the hours required for that type of work. I'll likely look for some consulting work or some part time work until the children are older. I may look at something at a university or college in student services or a similar field but I won't be pursuing an academic career. My husband is working on his second masters degree plus he is required to take courses as part of his job so we're likely to be living around an academic community for the next number of years.

  • Posted by Anita , Educator on June 30, 2008 at 2:35pm EDT

  • Why not? The biological clock does not stopping ticking when one becomes a doctoral student. It is all about managing your life and balancing studies and family. If you and your husband is in agreement and he is willing to be supportive on all levels then go for it. I take the stance that you should live life to its fullest. Whatever meaning that might have for your life. Also, if you have already completed a bachelors, masters and the course work for your doctorate it speaks to your fortitude, resiliency, focus and stamina. I say,go for it!

  • what works!
  • Posted by leslie , Doc Student at UTEP on June 30, 2008 at 4:05pm EDT

  • I am approaching my last semester of course work and have a 3 year old daughter, who by the way, is awesome! I was pregnant with her over the last year of my Master's work.

    I think being pregnant while writing the disseration is kind of ideal! It is better than being on the tenure track with lots of classes, students, and research dead lines to contend with. I have my little one with family during the day while I work as an r.a. and teach one class and at night, my husband takes over while I am in class.

    It is amazing what being a Mom enables you to do! You will be balancing more than you know and you will do a fantastic job at it!

    best wishes!

  • Tough decision, but worked for us
  • Posted by Elizabeth on June 30, 2008 at 6:50pm EDT

  • We actually discovered we were expecting two months before I was to begin my first semester in a doc program. Luckily, I had landed a research position with a dean who didn't care if I did the obligatory 20 hours per week--so long as the work was done well and on time. He was happy to let me keep an open schedule after the baby came, and I completed coursework and comps right on schedule. Now that I'm working more and have an active 4 y-o in the house, it's a bit harder to find time to work on the dissertation, but we're very happy we went ahead with school plans after we found out. If you're comfortable with the idea, and you understand that nothing will be quite like you expected (but you believe in your ability to roll with changes!), go for it, and have fun!

  • do what you feel deeply & what your department will tolerate
  • Posted by phree on June 30, 2008 at 6:50pm EDT

  • Different departments have various responses to reproducing graduate students. In my graduate department (philosophy), women who took time to have children during the dissertation were somewhat scorned (as I heard in the ABD writing groups)that I joined to stay motivated.

    In any case, there were tales of women losing committee members over pregnancy, but they are hard to measure. Take a cue from your colleagues. Has it been done before in your department? Last, you have to do what feels right in the moment as these situations will come and go over the next ten years. If you really want to parent, listen to your heart and be practical. For the record, I finished my dissertation and then had a baby. During these first two years, it has not been easy to get back on the writing track although managing childcare and teaching has been easier than I expected.

  • pregnant now
  • Posted by Katy on July 1, 2008 at 5:20am EDT

  • I have to echo what a lot of others have said: I'd much rather be managing pregnancy/infant and toddlerhood NOW as a grad student than while trying to get tenure.

    I entered my MA program at 26 and my PhD program at 27. Now I am 29 and will do my quals Winter/Spring 2009 and start writing my dissertation Summer/Fall 2009 (our program puts people on the job market the Fall that they begin writing).

    Will this all be tough with an under 1 year old? Sure, but with the flexibility of quals and dissertation compared to coursework or 1st few years of being an assistant professor, it is nothing!

    I'm also in luck because my S.O.'s workplace has on-site daycare at a subsidized rate and he gets extremely generous paternity leave. We're hoping that he can save enough paternity leave days so that he can cover childcare in our home for the first 2 months of Winter term when I have to TA and delay institutional childcare until baby is ~3 months.

    I also have spent my pregnancy off-campus doing fieldwork. I didn't plan it this way, but I wish that I had! If I had been on-campus and had to be TAing or taking classes, I would have never had the luxury of sleeping late when I was tired or staying home when I was ill. If there is any way that I can spend all subsequent pregnancies doing fieldwork, I will in a second!

    And, like others have said, if I can try to pop out #2 while writing the dissertation but before having to move in the summer of 2010 and starting as an assistant professor in Fall 2010, that'd be fantastic.

  • Don't wait!
  • Posted by habeas on July 1, 2008 at 4:00pm EDT

  • It will be much easier to have a child as a graduate student than to do so after you graduate. I finished my Ph.D. in 3.5 years and then had a child my first year on the job market. Your chances of being hired in that case are almost nil, as I found out. No other job, academic or non, will give you the control over your schedule and the flexibility of workload that being a full-time student does.

    One secret at least in the humanities is that hiring committees don't really care if you take four years or five years to finish, but your degree will not be enough to get you on the tenure track after more than a year or two out of school. Stay in longer, begin your family as a student, and then apply for jobs while your degree remains "fresh."

  • Posted by Graciella Cruz-Taura on July 2, 2008 at 8:15am EDT

  • My first child was born 3 weeks after I defended my dissertation and the pregnancy was certainly an incentive to research and write as much as possible before the baby arrived. I still did lots of reading while nursing and enjoying a tiny one at home. In fact, I believe my life changed more when the baby started moving around than when she was born.

  • Posted by Physiology PhD Mama on July 4, 2008 at 12:30pm EDT

  • I think most Mamas get better at multi-tasking when they have a baby and you get more efficient too and more motivated as you want to have time to spend with your family. I echo many others, you have to figure out what is best for you. I whirled through by biosci PhD program in 5 years and was working 80 hours weeks at times so it wouldn't have worked for me to have my baby then. However, that made me realize an academic job would be just as demanding if not more so as I would have also had to be teaching and getting grants and publishing. So I choose to wait to have a baby when I had more work-life balance but I achieved that by choosing an admin academic job where I work 8 - 5 (more or less) and then I had a baby. If you think you want a tenure track position, you will probably have more time and flexiblity now then you will later. As for money/financial resources, if you breastfeed, use cloth diapers (you can even buy them used or borrow from someone who is between kids), make your own baby food and shop at yard sales or used baby clothes places you won't find that kids are that expensive. The expensive part is childcare but if you and your partner can work out a schedule you will be able to avoid that or you can maybe get subsidized care due to your status. One thing is make sure you are ready for life to be school/work and baby, I don't know many parents who have much time for themselves, grad students or not.

  • not sure either... but tempted
  • Posted by marsia on August 4, 2008 at 5:25am EDT

  • I just got married, age 28, while doing the end of the second year PhD in humanities. I have no children and I would love to have one. In the past I suffered from various health problems that have harmed my fertility, so I know it will be difficult for me to conceive... and if I delay it a bit more, things may become even worse. I feel ready to become a mother, I have nearly finished my thesis, I will submit a total draft of it in February 09. There's one thing stopping me. My 4 years younger husband is not sure / ready to become a father. Or else I would go for it, cause I am sure I can manage.

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