EXT. BENCH NEAR STUDENT CENTER - DAY

A PROF eats his lunch from a Styrofoam bowl. Enter his acquaintance, who also works for the university but is a NON-PROF.

NON-PROF:
Wha’cha eatin’?

PROF:
Spicy Tofu. With white rice.

NON-PROF:
The way you were smackin’ and chompin’, I thought you had Doritos or bratwurst in there.

PROF:
See, I’m willing to go down that path and admit Doritos are delicious, but I also know how to eat well. You obviously don’t.

NON-PROF:
All the academics I know love to be seen eating tofu with chopsticks. You think it’s worldly. Really it’s slightly effeminate. White rice? What’s with that? [Laughs.]

PROF:
It’s full of onions too. Did I mention that? Don’t they give you diarrhea?