News, Views and Careers for All of Higher Education
Feb. 27, 2007
Even in this era of students posting intimate details of their lives online and in a season when students have shown no shame about posting photographs of offensive parties online, “The Pit Breakup” stands out:
Ryan Burke, a student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, invites his girlfriend from North Carolina State University to meet him at the Pit, a central meeting point on his campus, for a Valentine’s Day surprise. She arrives and finds hundreds of students (some estimates top 1,000) whom he had invited via Facebook. Her boyfriend starts by introducing an a cappella group — not to sing some romantic melody, but the Dixie Chicks’ defiant hit “I’m Not Ready to Make Nice.”
When the song is done, Burke tells his girlfriend that she has been unfaithful and that he’s dumping her. They exchange harsh words — several of them four-letter epithets — while the audience watches, laughs and jeers. At one point, the crowd starts chanting “slut, slut, slut” at the woman. She fights back (verbally), telling her by-then-ex that if he needs an audience to break up with her, he must have the problem. Many of those watching have cameras and are filming throughout, and numerous videos quickly end up on YouTube, where in less than two weeks they have attracted more than 500,000 viewers — along with parody videos, Facebook groups pro and con, and much debate.
Much of the discussion has focused on whether or not the breakup was real or staged. Immediately after the incident (on an interview posted on YouTube), Burke claimed it was real, but he has been ambiguous in some local press interviews. Neither student responded to interview requests for this article. In an article in today’s Charlotte Observer, both students said that the event had been staged and that they hadn’t even been dating. Many on the campus and elsewhere have been convinced from the start that the whole thing was staged. A university student affairs administrator who saw the event and has been investigating what to do about said he was assuming it was real, although he acknowledged a “lack of clarity.” (Note: This article has been updated from an earlier version.)
To some people, the reality that hundreds watched the event in person — without evidencing much concern about what was going on — is enough to be worried about, even if the event was staged.
“I am aware that there are allegations the incident was staged. The idea that this was premeditated is even more upsetting,” wrote Donna M. Bickford, director of the Carolina Women’s Center, in a letter about the incident to The Daily Tar Heel, the student newspaper. “I wonder why the audience, men and women both, found it entertaining to witness the public humiliation of a woman. I wonder why the audience, men and women both, found it appropriate to chant ’slut, slut, slut’ while they were shaking their fists at the woman involved. I wonder why shouts of ’slap her’ were met with enthusiasm instead of outrage. I wonder how anyone is supposed to feel safe on a campus where this is seen as an acceptable activity.”
Others are less concerned. While the Daily Tar Heel has published a number of letters to the editor about the incident, it never wrote an article about it. Joe Schwartz, the editor in chief, said he believed the event was staged and that the hundreds of students who were watching were “just enjoying the moment” in a central campus location and weren’t necessarily cheering on a public humiliation.
“I think this is another example that we are stuck in the gee whiz era of the Internet,” said Dianne Lynch, dean of Roy H. Park School of Communications at Ithaca College and an expert on digital culture. “People have been expressing or sharing intimate details forever. We don’t make a big deal when someone proposes marriage on a billboard or at a football game on the scoreboard. We write stories that say ‘isn’t that sweet?’ But all of the sudden when it is associated with the Internet, we raise all these questions about whether this has significance, and the answer is No.”
Lynch added that “if I truly believed that a thousand students turned out to watch the public humiliation of a woman in a public way, I’d be concerned,” but that she thinks what happened was very different. “I think people said ‘there’s going to be this YouTube thing’ and they knew it would get a reaction,” so they joined in. “It was just a stunt.”
Winston Crisp, assistant vice chancellor for student affairs at Chapel Hill, saw the event live when he got word about what was going on and headed over to view it. Since then, he has tried to get definitive word on whether it was real. “We have communicated with the students and there is some lack of clarity,” he said. “Depending on who you talk to and when, you get different answers, but as far as we know, we think it’s real.”
Regardless, Crisp said, “we take it very seriously,” adding that “the concerns are valid either way” and that he is sure that many of those watching thought at the time that they were witnessing a real breakup. “This was the public humiliation of another person,” he said. “And there were hundreds of people coming out to view this as a spectator event.” He cautioned, however, that not everyone there could hear and that that YouTube video may give a false impression that the entire crowd was chanting.
For now, Crisp said, the university is “trying to understand the student reaction and the impulse to do this.” He said he didn’t see any sort of formal action coming because “the student didn’t break any rules,” but he said that the incident pointed to the need for “some kind of education.”
The university hasn’t issued any statement about the event because — however upsetting the incident was to many — doing so could undercut education efforts, Crisp said. “I think a lot of this is generational. These students live in a very different generation, and a very public, open generation, with Facebook and other sites,” he said. “We don’t want to do something so we just have the students coming out and saying that we are the old people who don’t understand anything.”
Given that today’s students were raised on reality television, “they are anesthetized to this,” Crisp speculated. He said that he hoped this was a case of “the train wreck they couldn’t turn away from watching,” but that on the question of why students would turn out for such an event: “I certainly don’t have the answers.”
Other experts say that when things like this happen, university leaders should speak out strongly and immediately.
“The first thing you do is jawbone. Moral leadership is required of university administrators,” said Kirk O. Hanson, executive director of the Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University. In the case of the Pit breakup, “this clearly is an invasion of privacy of the woman and shows incredible disdain for the dignity of another person,” Hanson said. If the event was staged, “it still demonstrates a set of values that it’s acceptable to belittle and humiliate another person. This is not innocent entertainment.”
Hanson said he views the incident — while perhaps extreme in being as public as it has become among students — as part of his pattern. His university, a Jesuit institution with a strong emphasis on student values, is currently debating a party at which students dressed as stereotypical, low-income Latinos. As with other parties that have caused controversies on campuses this semester, the theme became public when students saw photos posted online. Hanson said higher education should realize it has a problem because — whether by staging events in public or posting photos for all to see — students don’t see anything wrong with what they are doing. “The lack of shame demonstrates how far we have gone,” he said.
Colleges may be better off trying to get students to talk about diversity issues not theoretically but through specific discussions among themselves, he said. If white students realized how hard some Latino students and their families struggled to pay for college, the white students might be less likely to mock Latino janitors. “We’ve got a lot of students coming in without ethical grounding. They need to understand what these things mean to fellow students,” he said.
Many students at Carolina and elsewhere don’t see any big ethical issue raised by the breakup. Caitlin Legacki is a senior at the university and one of the organizers of a Facebook group called “I Saw Ryan Burke Break Up With His Girlfriend in the Pit and It Was AMAZING.” As of Monday afternoon, the group had 1,421 members, with students writing in from colleges nationwide to join. Comments being posted rally around Burke, with students writing posts like “Go Ryan!” Some students praise the video they saw (or the real event) as hilarious, while others seem to take it more seriously. A recent post from a student at Seton Hall University said: “RYAN we’re with ya. screw that chick!”
Legacki, a friend of Burke’s, said that the event “was just such a spectacle” and she wanted to create a place to talk about it where people wouldn’t criticize Burke. Legacki said Monday she believed the breakup was real and that the unusual process helped Burke. To those upset about the public humiliation factor, she said that Burke didn’t expect the event to attract as much attention as it did.
She also said that there were positive factors to consider. “I’m a journalism and public relations major,” Legacki said. “I was impressed by the word of mouth that catalyzed this and how it’s grown completely. To me it’s more amazing how it got to where it is than the fact that Ryan publicly humiliated Mindy,” she said. “Any time you can get a group of college students that big in one place is impressive,” Legacki said, adding that she did agree that it would be good “to figure out how to use that for better causes.”
Bickford, the women’s center director, said she too agreed that the size of the crowd was notable, and that’s what worried her. “To me, the question of whether it was staged is not the important issue. The issue that needs more attention is the reaction of the crowd. That some found it entertaining to watch a public humiliation, that’s the concern.”
Since the incident, Bickford said, some professors have been talking about what happened with students, as she has. She wrote her letter to the student paper in part so people would know that there were places where people didn’t view what happened as acceptable or just some college humor. She added that those trying to minimize the event by saying it was staged are engaged in denial. “It’s much easier to just say ‘it was staged, so I don’t have to deal with it,’ than to think about what this means.”
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Wow! He got 1,000 people to show up. I admire him already.
Larry, at 7:50 am EST on February 27, 2007
Dear Scott,
Moral leadership requires more courage than we often witness. While Dr. Crisp’s comments seem appropriate, I wish I were able to sit and ask him about the particulars—particularly, did he try to stop the episode? And many reading this might ask—Should an administrator have stepped in? We take students from the high school environment in which they are monitored, must be to school early, and need hall passes then suddenly remove considerable expectations for behavior. However, perhaps Winston could not hear, and the whole affair (no pun intended) was only a few minutes in duration. Donna Bickford and Kirk Hanson give sagacious advice, and remind us of the need for leadership workshops. Last year while holding campus meetings at a prestigious university the student paper’s cover story was about a porn star who spoke at a major university sponsored event on women’s leadership. The student writer was appalled, and so was I. Yes, moral leadership is needed, but from the other end of the spectrum. In our attempts to exercise freedom we also need to take strides to protect them along with privilege to run tax-supported institutions (whether through tuitions or federal aid). In this age of “open-source” and wiki-reality, we all have our challenges and need to remember that as we read of those facing Dr. Hanson and his staff.
Jerry Pattengale, AVP for Scholarship and Grants at Indiana Wesleyan University, at 7:51 am EST on February 27, 2007
I’m with Donna Bickford on this one—this is just creepy, if it’s real, and really stupid, if it’s staged.
On the other hand, the UNC undergrad Caitlin Legacki clearly has plenty of future options as a “digital culture professor,” to judge from her remarks and the Ithaca prof’s similarly irrelevant and inane comments on the event (Wow! Isn’t the Internet just fascinating?!?)
Melocoton, at 8:45 am EST on February 27, 2007
The problem with this digital culture is that people are no longer learning basic social skills. IMing, facebook, etc allows people to communicate without acquiring basic social graces — tolerance, humanity, compassion, teamwork, etc. Parents who allow their children to grow up hiding behind the Internet/Email/IM/Facebook/constant video games, etc. and not encouraging them to actually interact with their peers and others on a face-to-face level are doing their children a disservice.
This culture is growing up with no compassion for others besides themselves and no value of human life. Humiliation such as that is completely unnecessary and can often lead to suicide. If I was a girl at that school, you can bet I’d stay FAR AWAY from that boy — he sounds like the type you’ll find in the newspaper some day having killed his girlfriend/wife out of rage.
Loyal Reader, at 9:25 am EST on February 27, 2007
I think it’s amazing that 1,000 students showed up to watch this event without any faculty or administrators have any prior knowlege that it was taking place.
Interested, at 9:35 am EST on February 27, 2007
The one question that remained in my mind the entire time I was reading this article was...where were this girl’s friends??
It’s not reasonable to expect that Mindy could have escaped this stressful/humiliating/scary situation alone, however, there must have been one friend in the crowd that could have extracted her. This is an outrageous case of cowardess on the part of the bystanders that knew her...and those that didn’t.
Mindy — chin up, Girl. The pack of loosers (your ex being the leader) are not worth shedding tears over.
cfomom, Girlfriends?, at 9:45 am EST on February 27, 2007
Loyal, Has it ever occurred to you that maybe social skills are changing. Heck, not too long ago it was considered an extreme fax pas for men to go outside hatless. Women were expected to faint all the time.
Whatever the case, this seems to be some version of “mobbing” and many people seemed to have taken the bait.
Larry, at 10:00 am EST on February 27, 2007
Oh come on now, academic professionals. Your complaints are nothing more than the latest cycle of what James Gilbert called “A Cycle of Outrage” (see Gilbert, A Cycle of Outrage: America’s Reaction to the Juvenile Delinquent in the 1950s). Think of the 1930s Payne Fund Studies on the deleterious effects of the movies on middle class children, or Tipper Gore’s crusade against pernicious rock music lyrics. So its a new media. Our children will NOT be made morally bankrupt by it. Besides, I read the video “against the grain” and totally thought Mindy scored big points by questioning Ryan’s insecurities, sense of self, and manhood so publically, at Chapel Hill or on YouTube. You go, girl.
Reality chick, faculty at Georgia State University, at 10:00 am EST on February 27, 2007
She was from another university, so the humiliation didn’t take place at her own campus. She may have had no friends in Chapel Hill.
beanbaggie, at 10:05 am EST on February 27, 2007
It’s funny how much change scares people. Those who don’t understand the online society cry out when someone uses it in a powerful way, be it for good or evil.
“Our society is fundamentally altered!” “Today’s wired society is devoid of social skills!” “The nation is in moral decay.” “The sky is falling.”
Society isn’t any different today than before Web 2.0, only now we have a powerful new tool at our disposal. This incident is simply a creative application of that tool. Had it been a rally to protest global warming or drilling in ANWR, it wouldn’t even have been mentioned in the press. We are, and always have been, fascinated by the sensational.
There are alway those who will use an incident like this to push their agenda. Anyone with an ax to grind will focus on the issues that are important to them — not to say their beef isn’t legit and that we shouldn’t recognize or act on bad behavior — but there is a large lesson to be learned here.
I would view this more as a wake up call for those who don’t take online networking and social websites seriously. It’s not good or bad — it’s just new and different. Progress is never easy and sometimes difficult to watch take place.
So let’s stop potificating about all the ills of our society and recognize the one all-encompassing lesson to be learned: All is fair in love and war.
Paul Atkinson, Sr. Manager of E-Commerce at MOHELA, at 10:25 am EST on February 27, 2007
I think it’s amazing that 1,000 students showed up to watch this event without any faculty or administrators have any prior knowlege that it was taking place.
I don’t. Faculty and students communicate on completely different levels, and with completely different technology. I’m not the first one to note that the IM/Facebook generation has a communicative gap with the phone/e-mail generation. Very few faculty, in my experience, have real connections to the social life of students: the age difference and the status differences are too great.
Administrators? Don’t even start. Unless it’s a heavily residential institution, with very carefully picked RAs, etc., most administrations have no idea what’s going on among the student body except what they read in the student newspaper, or what the faculty tells them.....
Jonathan Dresner, at 10:42 am EST on February 27, 2007
Larry — the Pit is the central part of the UNC campus, where the bookstore and both libraries meet.
At noontime, there are thousands of students in the area. Often, student religious groups preach sermons. Or, incidents like this —
http://insidehighered.com/news/2006/03/07/uncsuv
Craziest student stunt in the RTP? Finding one’s roommate, passed out face down on Hillsborough Street after the N.C. State NCAA championship win?
UNC frats setting a couch on fire — in near-hurricane conditions — on Franklin Street after the 1993-94 UNC NCAA championship win?
DOOKIES annually waiting for basketball tickets in tents?
My, my .. all those campus social marketing programs that self-report only positive results. One wonders who creates all the problems, on a campus ..
C. Bigsby, at 10:55 am EST on February 27, 2007
I often find kgotthardt’s comments muddied with women’s issues, but I agree with her on this one. There is something of the scarlet letter in the student’s public humiliation. How many of you have taught The Lottery in intro to lit? Do you remember that after publishing the story, Shirley Jackson began receiving letters asking where the lottery was being held and whether it was open to the public for viewing? It does indeed matter that if the drama was staged, a woman was not hurt. However, in terms of those in attendance, since they assumed the event was authentic, all of the troubling issues remain. The university should view this as its own failure: the lessons from historical complicity in atrocity are not being taught/learned, are not being incorporated into students’ ethical reflex. As the author of a book on Mauthausen, I will go on record here: Jerry Springer and similar shows are not harmless entertainment, but cultivate a kind of pornographic delight in human beings being laid bare, a pernicious impulse to collectively dehumanize.
aitatxua, at 12:10 pm EST on February 27, 2007
I don’t fault the technology—I fault the cruelty of the incident. And the willingness of the mob to participate in that cruelty. But it’s not new. It’s as old as stoning. As old as burning at the stake. As old as lynching. Technology just makes cruelty more portable.
Joseph Duemer, Professor at Clarkson University, at 1:17 pm EST on February 27, 2007
aitatxua, Everyone is responsible for their own actions. If these students take a perverse pleasure in viewing someone’s emotional pain, so be it. If these students view this and think that it is acceptable to behave like this in public, then we can just chalk this up to a changing of societal norms.
You accuse Springer of cultivating a need for “human beings [to be] being laid bare, a pernicious impulse to collectively dehumanize.” So what? Maybe more conversation is better. Maybe some things should be subjected to public inquiry. Whether it “dehumanizes” or not is a question of what it means to be human in the first place, which is subject to considerable debate. (I should note, of course, that “dehumanization” has been institutionalized long before the internet, in the form of jails, public executions, and pugilism.)
(Finally, the “victim” could have justed walked away.)
Larry, at 1:21 pm EST on February 27, 2007
The AP is now reporting that was indeed a stunt.
DC Observer, at 2:06 pm EST on February 27, 2007
The truly horrific part of this public humiliation is that the young lady Mindy is able to articulate, with considerable force and clarity, the fuck w**d. We know, based on the excellent investigations of Catharine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, that every employment of the fuck w**d by a female is another instance of brutal male penetration of feminine virtue. How many more palate-rapes by hegemonic ventriloquists of defenseless ventriloquislings will the universities tolerate? How many more victims must America endure before this callous nation wakes up?
John C. Bonnell, Professor of English at Macomb Comm College, at 2:55 pm EST on February 27, 2007
Upright Citizens Brigade very similar about seven years ago in Washington Square Park (although it was the girl breaking up with the guy because he was impotent).
Larry, at 2:55 pm EST on February 27, 2007
I realize there is the moment in the video when students start yelling “slut, slut,” but there’s a second moment that no one is mentioning in which the students start to chant “small dick, small dick.” Which is worse?
Second Line, at 3:56 pm EST on February 27, 2007
>The AP is now reporting that was indeed a stunt.
We can see where this is all heading; from the faux video diary of LonelyGirl15 to the staged public humiliation at UNC, the next step will be staged rapes and murders, videorecorded and uploaded to YouTube and the like. (Heck, people have probably already tried, but their videos probably lacked the cachet and news-grabbing spectacle of the UNC setting. So the next step will probably be the staged recording of some horrible crime being commited against the girlfriend of an Ivy League or Berkeley student.)
mkt, at 3:56 pm EST on February 27, 2007
To me, this incident evokes the stoning scene from The Kite Runner.
I’m also wondering why we don’t use events & groups in Facebook to advertise campus activities, rather than the Facebook flyers that no one notices.
Jonathan, at 4:26 pm EST on February 27, 2007
” .. Technology just makes cruelty more portable.”
As in “Punk’ed?” As in Dave Chappelle’s “Zapped?”
Tune in, turn on — drop in. It’s the year 2007 A.D.
B.D., at 7:56 pm EST on February 27, 2007
In the ancient Roman circus there were times when blind people and animals were pitted against each other for amusement. On Larry’s logic, that’s fine. As he says, “If these students take a perverse pleasure...so be it. If these students view this and think that it is acceptable to behave like this in public, then we can just chalk this up to a changing of societal norms.”
Jim Pakala, at 7:56 pm EST on February 27, 2007
Jim, Assuming what you say is true about the Romans, then so be it. As it stands now we derive perverse pleasures from many things.
Take trails trials. The constitution guarantees that we can be voyeurs to the panoply of injustice that is a criminal trial. You can even watch divorce proceedings if that floats your boat.
We also like to look at car accident, passed out bums on the street, people getting arrested, and there are TV shows devoted to simulating the worst that the earth has to offer.
Watching a couple (real or fake) break up is comparatively mild as compared to even the constitutionally-guaranteed displays of misery.
Larry, at 9:30 pm EST on February 27, 2007
aitatxua, unfortunately I have had to come to the sad understanding that women’s issues are not something I can discuss without overly identifying and becoming pretty emotional. So be it. I don’t think it makes my perspective any less valid—but don’t put me in the college presidency in this case because, hoax or not, I wouldn’t have the patience or the incentive to treat this incident or the people involved lightly.
I have to say that I was not expecting the severity of this film or the effect it would have on me. When I read the story headline, I thought it was just another group of students goofing on video, and I skimmed through to the link. The singing was mesmerizing. Had I realized what I ultimately would be watching, I can assure you, I would not have subjected myself to the viewing.
Too bad the singers felt the need to waste their talents on such rot. But that’s the least of their problems, as far as I am concerned.
kgotthardt, at 9:30 pm EST on February 27, 2007
In response to this: “I realize there is the moment in the video when students start yelling ’slut, slut,’ but there’s a second moment that no one is mentioning in which the students start to chant ’small dick, small dick.’ Which is worse?”
The chants of “slut” are “worse” particularly when backed up by the calls for Ryan Burke to slap the woman. Even without the calls to physical violence, though, the verbal attack on the woman is backed up by the real world targetting of girls of women for acts of violence by men. I teach at UNC-CH, and a number of my female students who were passing through the pit at this time heard the chants, saw the mob, and were frightened for their own safety and the safety of the woman. The fact that it was a “staged” event does not change this. While a small group chanting that Ryan Burke has a “small dick” might have been embarassing to him, it did not carry with it the implied threat of violence that the chants of “slut” did. To equate the two is to make a false parallel.
Matt, UNC-CH, at 8:15 am EST on February 28, 2007
Matt, I find it somewhat incredible that female students passing by actually feared for their own safety because someone else was being called a “slut.” Do we really need to suppress ideas because some women declare that they are “in fear” of something.
Larry, at 11:20 am EST on February 28, 2007
Larry, your comments are chock full of male privilege. Have you ever been under the constant threat of sexual violence? All women are under this threat. Do you worry about whether you will be whistled at as you walk down the street or fondled and grabbed at by men? Most women do. Do you take precautions everyday of your life to protect yourself from sexual assault? Every woman does. Ask any woman if you don’t believe me.
And some of us actually believe women when they say something. And we listen, too. And if some women say they feared for their safety as they walked near the pit when this went on, then we need to take this very seriously. No woman should ever have to feel this way and I think it is our duty as members of the community to ensure that women don’t have to worry about their safety.
Joe, at 12:46 pm EST on February 28, 2007
kgotthardt: Perhaps “muddied” was harsh; I apologize. But I am sincerely with you on this one, and though I haven’t seen the video, I believe your description. I just want to emphasize that the trouble goes beyond gender, and resonates with group complicity in victimization generally. I don’t wish to trivialize, say, Kristallnacht, by analogies grossly unequal in scale, but an incident like this is a way to look at the psychology that makes atrocity possible.
aitatxua, at 9:42 am EST on March 1, 2007
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The Pit Breakup
Do you now feel like a fool with all your pontifiating all these months later now that we all know the whole thing was a HOAX?
Mallery Playground, at 7:35 pm EDT on September 9, 2007