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The Sociology of 'Hooking Up'

January 29, 2008

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Many researchers rely on college undergraduates as subjects for studies of human behavior. For Kathleen A. Bogle, an assistant professor of sociology and criminal justice at LaSalle University who trained her scholarly lens on the students themselves, focusing on that cross-section was part of the design.

When people talk about "hooking up," they're referring to a subculture with a complex set of rules and expectations. Not surprisingly, most of what they know about student "hookup" culture comes from alarmist news reports of "risky sex" and the American Pie movies, not serious scholarship. In her new book, Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus (New York University Press, 2008), Bogle wields the tools of the sociologist, employing in-depth interviews with students and graduates from two unnamed universities -- one a large East Coast public university, the other a smaller Roman Catholic institution in the Northeast -- and placing the culture of hooking up in a historical context. She answered questions via e-mail, shedding light on what she calls the "center of college social life."

Q: Your book is a scholarly take on an issue with popular appeal. Who's the intended audience?

A: I wrote this book with several audiences in mind, including college administrators, parents and college students. I hoped administrators and student life personnel would read it to figure out what is going on in the lives of their students and how the hookup culture is related to some of the major residence-life issues, such as alcohol use and sexual assault. I also believe Hooking Up is ideal for adoption in a variety of courses because it will engage students and help them to understand how personal experiences are tied to larger issues in society.

Q: You note that the vast majority of students and alumni you interviewed were white and heterosexual. Was that unavoidable? How does your sample, and how it was chosen, affect your findings?

A: I chose a primarily white, heterosexual sample for two reasons. First, most of the students at both universities I studied fit into those demographic categories. Second, my research and previous literature indicates that how men and women form sexual and romantic relationships varies by race and sexual orientation. Therefore, I had to limit the scope of my study in order to be able to draw conclusions about the dominant culture on campus. Although I do touch on how non-whites and other marginalized groups form sexual and romantic relationships on campus in my book, fully exploring this issue is an entire study itself.

Q: How much of your interviews reveal what students perceive about hookup culture -- that is, what they hear from their friends and expect from popular culture -- as opposed to what actually happens on campus? Are their responses reflecting personal experience, wishful thinking, or both?

A: I asked students about their general perceptions of college students, perceptions of their peer group and their own behavior. What I found is that students tend to overestimate what their peers are doing. In other words, students often perceive that others hook up more often and go farther sexually during hookup encounters. These misperceptions, in turn, affect their own behavior because students make decisions about their own lives based on what they believe is “normal” for college students. I hope that my book can help clear up these distorted perceptions so that students can make choices based what is really going on.

Q: Recent reports about the hookup culture and "friends with benefits" have been seen by some as a cause for alarm. How does your study differ from previous accounts?

A: I tried to take a more evenhanded approach than previous commentators have on this subject. Where others have focused primarily on the most extreme behavior, I found that hooking up represents a wide range of behavior. I tried to present a realistic view of the hookup culture by including the voices of those who participate in moderate degrees and those who do not participate at all. Although I agree that some of what is going on in the hookup culture is cause for alarm (or at least concern), it is unfair to characterize the entire system, much less “all college students,” by what we see on MTV’s coverage of spring break.

I also think that in comparing hooking up to dating, other commentators have shown the dating era through rose-tinted glasses. Research on dating indicates that it was less than ideal. So I tried to present my findings about hooking up in a more accurate historical context.

Q: Is today’s hookup culture fundamentally different from campus sexual norms 10 or 20 years ago?

A: This is really an empirical question that I cannot answer given that I did not interview students who went to college 10 or 20 years ago. What I can say is that the term “hooking up” has been documented by those studying college slang terminology as being very common since the early to mid-1980s. Furthermore, several studies of college student social life noted a major shift away from traditional dating to group “partying” in the 1970s. This research suggests that it was common for men and women to “pair off” at the end of a night of partying in order for a sexual encounter (including anything from kissing to sexual intercourse) to occur. So, while I cannot answer if it was fundamentally different in the past, I can say hooking up was happening 20 years ago.

Q: Do instant messaging, Facebook and text messages play a significant role in your assessment of hooking up on campus? Are such tools altering the way students meet potential sexual partners?

A: Hooking up existed long before instant messaging, Facebook or text messaging became part of how young people interact. However, these forms of communication do make it increasingly easy for students to interact in a more informal way. For example, in the dating era, interaction was very formal and required a certain amount of planning. Typically, a man placed a phone call to a woman several days in advance to ask her on a date to a specific place at a specific time. In the contemporary hookup culture, activity is much more spur-of-the-moment and casual. Tools like text messaging allow students to get in touch “late night” with potential hookup partners to meet up if they did not happen to run into one another at a party or bar in the course of the evening.

Q: Is there something unique about colleges and universities that fosters the kind of sexual climate you describe? Were there any particular differences between the Roman Catholic institution and the state university you studied? What about fraternity and sorority settings versus dorms and off-campus housing?

A: The college environment is very conducive to hooking up. On campus there is a relatively homogenous population of young men and women living in close proximity to each other with no strictly enforced rules monitoring their behavior. Students generally socialize amongst themselves, which fosters a sense of safety or comfort and they share the mantra that college is a time to “let loose” and party. All of these things factor into why the hookup culture flourishes on campus.

Regarding the faith-based [Roman Catholic] versus the state university in my study, both institutions were the same in terms of hooking up being the dominant script for forming sexual and romantic relationships on campus. However, some of the students I interviewed believed that there were more “anonymous” hookup encounters at the state university due to the larger size of the student population. When I asked students at the faith-based university if they believed that the religious affiliation of their university affected hooking up in any way, most of them believed the religious connection did not make a difference.

Regarding fraternity and sorority settings, fraternity members were among the most likely to hook up frequently with a large number of different partners. Given that fraternity houses often host parties where vast quantities of alcohol are being served, it is not surprising that fraternity members find themselves in an environment particularly conducive to hooking up. As other researchers have noted, both the pledging process of many fraternities and common fraternity practices (e.g., freshman females are admitted to a party for free; freshman males are not allowed to attend the party unless they are a fraternity member) foster a conquest mentality towards sex among many members and certainly shapes the hookup culture on many campuses with an active Greek life.

Q: Some recent studies have suggested that hookup culture more negatively impacts females than males. Did you find any evidence for differing effects on the genders?

A: The hookup culture definitely affects the genders differently in at least two important ways. First, women are far more likely than men to get a bad reputation for how they conduct themselves in the hookup culture. Women can get a bad reputation for many different things, including how often they hook up, who they hook up with, how far they go sexually during a hookup, and how they dress when they go out on a night where hooking up may happen. Men who are very active in the hookup culture may be called a “player”; women, on the other hand, get labeled a “slut.”

Second, women are not getting what they want from the hookup system. Women often want relationships and most are dissatisfied with how often hooking up leads to “nothing,” i.e., no ongoing, stable relationship. There are certainly many cases where a woman does not want a hookup to evolve into a relationship, but on average women are far more interested in a hookup turning into “something more” than men are. This puts women in a difficult situation. If they do not hook up at all, they are left out of the dominant culture on campus and will likely have difficulty finding opportunities to form sexual and romantic relationships with the opposite sex. However, if they do hook up, they have to walk a fine line to make sure they do so in a way that makes them a part of the mainstream on campus without crossing the line and getting negatively labeled.

Q: How does all of this manifest itself in the classroom?

A: Although hookup encounters generally occur at night after students attend parties or go to local bars, several students I interviewed mentioned feeling like they had to be “on” 24/7. This fishbowl existence is all part of what I call the “sexual arena” on campus where students are constantly watching one another, gossiping about one another and judging one another for how they look as well as how they conduct themselves in the hookup culture.

Q: You devote a section to how the hookup culture morphs after college. Does hooking up in college handicap students for post-graduation life?

A: It is really difficult to measure how hooking up affects people psychologically as they age and move into post-college relationships and eventually marriage; however, I do know what happens behaviorally. When students leave college, there is a discernable shift to more formal dating. It was amazing to interview young alumni who were very much a part of the hookup culture in college who now say that they almost exclusively go on dates (except when they are “down the shore,” i.e., at beach resorts during the summer in a very college-like atmosphere). But the transition to the post-college dating scene was not necessarily an easy one. Many of the 20-something-year-old men and women I spoke with were confused over how to act in certain scenarios after college, not knowing if they were on a date or just “hanging out and hooking up.” Some of the people I interviewed had never been on a formal date until after college, so figuring out the rules for the “new” system was a big adjustment for them.

Q: Can traditional dating survive alongside "hooking up"? Should the two paradigms coexist, or are they merging into a single overall "script" that students follow?

A: I think traditional dating is surviving alongside of hooking up in the larger culture, but on campus hooking up has replaced dating as the primary means for students to meet and form sexual and romantic relationships. This does not mean that students never go out for dinner and a movie. The “date” still exists among college students, but it is couples who are already in an exclusive relationship who do it. In other words, the pathway to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship where a couple might go on a date begins with hooking up. In the dating era, students would go on a date, which might lead to something sexual happening; in the hookup era, students hook up, which might lead to dating. This is a reversal of the traditional order of things. The problem is that many college men are pleased with the status quo; they can hook up and if they want to pursue an ongoing relationship they can, but they are under no obligation to do so. Women, on the other hand, get increasingly frustrated after freshman year with how often it seems that hooking up leads to “nothing.”

Q: Was anyone willing to talk openly about the "walk of shame"?

A: Several of the students I interviewed mentioned the “walk of shame,” which refers to a college student, usually female, walking home the next morning after a hookup encounter in the same outfit he/she was wearing the evening prior. Given that students dress differently for “going out” at night than during the daytime, it is obvious to onlookers when a student is doing the walk of shame. One of many interesting things about this phrase is that students use the word “shame” at all. If students accept hooking up and believe that “everybody’s doing it,” then why do they use the term shame when referencing a hookup encounter? I think that phrase actually underscores an important issue: Many students are struggling with the hookup system. For those students who are having trouble making sense of it all, I hope my book will help shed some light on both what is happening and why it is happening.

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Comments on The Sociology of 'Hooking Up'

  • Posted by Larry on January 29, 2008 at 7:35am EST
  • How come sociologists never write books about my culture?

  • Walk of Shame
  • Posted by kgotthardt on January 29, 2008 at 7:55am EST
  • I wonder if the word "shame" is used because people say things online that they might never say in real life.

    I also wonder if the "shame" can be attributed to the violent, degrading culture we see online...a culture that somehow has become acceptable externally but not internally for many individuals.

    Finally, I wonder if the "shame" comes from encounters ending up quite differently than the student expected. More naive students, for example, might not be prepared for what the other person truly has in mind and intends to carry out.

    As with any violent incident that evolves from such an encounter (such as an assault), there is the feeling of "I should have known better," when in fact, no one can really tell how a stranger will act when given the opportunity.

  • Posted by lf on January 29, 2008 at 8:45am EST
  • The relative lack of diversity in the sample makes this a study of very limited value. While the author might wish to boost her sales by seeing her book assigned to undergraduates, I think that careful academics would likely avoid assigning the work in its entirety. The assumptions made by the author in this interview certainly further demonstrate that her results are not at all applicable to the majority of current undergraduates.

  • Posted by HPP on January 29, 2008 at 9:40am EST
  • Is there anything here we didn't already know? I'm thinking of lines like:

    Men who are very active in the hookup culture may be called a “player”; women, on the other hand, get labeled a “slut.”

  • Posted by ms on January 29, 2008 at 9:40am EST
  • isn't walk of shame an old term, far predating the whole online thing? I think it probably has more to do with the fact that people walking back Sunday morning after all that look, you know, (a)"shamed".

  • walk of shame
  • Posted by Anon on January 29, 2008 at 9:55am EST
  • The "walk of shame" was used before online communities were popular. When I was in college from 1996-2001, people used the term walk of shame, so I don't know how much it has to do with what is posted or said online. At least the origins of the phrase wouldn't have anything to do with the online culture.

  • Posted by Mark Buehner on January 29, 2008 at 10:00am EST
  • Err.. the term walk of shame is used ironically. Its often a badge of honor, or at least taken in humor. Its not like people are getting rotten fruit thrown at them. The different ways in which men and women are viewed as slutty is as old as civilization. If anything the shame attached to women is substantially less than in previous generations, for better or for worse. This idea that 'hooking up' is anything new under the sun may sell books and make for great MTV moments, but its bunk. The only difference here is the media coverage- mainly the need of boomers to get a vicarious thrill from sticking their nose back into the campus like, ideally for a little titilation. And like all good legends, its definately overblown and seems a lot more exciting from the outside.

  • Posted by You Are Incorrect on January 29, 2008 at 10:05am EST
  • "The relative lack of diversity in the sample makes this a study of very limited value." and later "...her results are not at all applicable to the majority of current undergraduates."

    This commenter's view is flatly incorrect. It's the very lack of diversity, which we may alternatively term "focus," that affords this study any validity at all. In fact, the vast majority of the current undergraduate population is indeed white and heterosexual. "Diversity" is a crutch for idiots and scoundrels to lean on.

  • East Coast Myopia
  • Posted by Paul A'Barge on January 29, 2008 at 10:40am EST
  • "...students and graduates from two unnamed universities — one a large East Coast public university, the other a smaller Roman Catholic institution in the Northeast..."

    Get the idea that perhaps we've got a bit of geographic skewing in the sample set here?

    Big sigh.

  • Walk Of Shame
  • Posted by wertnjfdkd on January 29, 2008 at 10:50am EST
  • This term was used when I went to college starting in 1986. And we had to walk uphill, both ways...

  • Walk of Shame
  • Posted by Tom on January 29, 2008 at 10:55am EST
  • The term "walk of shame" is a joke. At least where I went to school in Kentucky. We all knew the term (graduated in 1999), used the term, and saw it happen. However, it was said in a teasing manner. I remember one girl asking me for one of my fraternity shirts and some shorts so she wouldn't be seen in her outfit from the night before (I lost more shirts that way). Like the others in the study, I rarely had a "real" date in college. I'd meet girls either at the bar or library and we'd hang out. Many people had serious relationships -- some couples stayed over every night at each other's house. However, most relationships were less formal. One of the drivers of this was that people were very focused on school activities and education and do not want the added responsibility of a relationship. Fraternity/Sorority formals were also a big deal. Most of the time, couples could not afford private rooms so there may be two or three couples in a double bed room.

  • Hookups or Hookers
  • Posted by rg on January 29, 2008 at 11:10am EST
  • It's the same old story. The guys are having a great time, with all the onus on the girls. Gee, too bad I went to college when you actually had to make a effort to win a girl over. Now it just seems like a brothel with a large tuition payment to boot.

  • Civil Dialogue
  • Posted by Civil Dialogue , Civil Dialogue on January 29, 2008 at 11:10am EST
  • Amidst the mud slinging, I would just like to note that both the previous comments are correct: the study is valid based on its solid qualitative methods, which makes the findings relevant. AND, the study's finding would be improved and further reinforced by future research into other cultures other than white undergraduates. Now that we have THAT cleared up...
    I would just like to thank the author of this research for bringing to light this reality of hooking up on campus. As faculty, we are aware of such practices, but have little fodder to fan the flame of discussion in course seminars. I have had to reference Tom Wolf's "I Am Charlotte Simmons" fictitious work to discuss such realities. Thanks to this indepth view, I am able to move from one novelists perceptions (which are remarkably astute) to an academic and valid work. Thank you for moving us along.
    Now, if we could just stop bickering and focus on how to use such data.

  • why "shame"
  • Posted by Chris on January 29, 2008 at 11:10am EST
  • I graduated three years ago, and in the dorm we referred to the trip home the next morning as the "walk of shame," too. But we didn't mean it. You didn't really feel ashamed, and no one was disapproving. More than anything, I think we meant it ironically.

  • Posted by mh on January 29, 2008 at 11:40am EST
  • I don't see how you can report this story without noting the gender imbalance that exists on most campuses today. Back in my college days, alas almost thirty years ago, the male-female ratio at my college was around 2:1. And, believe me, the girls held all the cards. Dates included dinner, movies and if you were willing to pick up the tab there plenty of other guys who would. Males are scarce in colleges these days, usually less than 40%, and it seems that the lucky few that are there are calling the shots.

  • Unacceptable
  • Posted by lizardo33 on January 29, 2008 at 12:15pm EST
  • As a mother of two beautiful young women, I have struggled to raise them to fight the accepted norm if the accepted norm is unacceptable to them. Young women (and optimistically, men too) should try to encourage one another to fight this whambamthankyoumaam trend to get what they want, "something more", from young men. Parents, more teaching your kids to respect one another and less teaching them that they are the center of the universe and "deserve" the things they want.

  • Posted by Larry on January 29, 2008 at 12:45pm EST
  • mh, I didn't read the book, but are girls really paying for dinner? Or are you saying that girls WOULD be chaste if there were more men? Or maybe college students just like to have a lot of sex?

  • Posted by Befuddled on January 29, 2008 at 12:45pm EST
  • Having been away from college dorm life for more than 10 years now, I can say that this was happening then as well. The walk of shame term I remember was used to refer to anyone (male or female) obviously walking home from the party they attended the night before. The shame part referred to the fact that they got so drunk they couldn't make it home -- they were shamefully irresponsible with their drinking. Everyone likes to party and drink, but few people like a drunk. That was where the shame came from when we heard/used the term.

    I think the auther's “focus” group is either a subset of the whole or not telling her everything. I hooked-up a few times at college and NONE of those times were at a party or a bar. I hooked-up with girls I met in study groups or on projects with me, or other social gatherings that didn’t involve partying at all. It isn’t centered on the parties, though it happens more frequently there.

    The other thing that baffles me is distinguishing between dating and hooking up. One girl I hooked-up with always claimed to other people that we never “dated.” That seems like semantics since the things I did with her were more explicit than things I did with some of the girls I took on “dates,” and we hooked-up more than once. Is the girl sneaking out of the house to meet her guy friend for a movie not dating either? How do you really distinguish between them? If the hook-up turns into a relationship then how do you tell people you met? Hook-up seems like a nicer sounding way of saying one night stand to me. Is it really that much different?

  • Walk of shame
  • Posted by Badger on January 29, 2008 at 12:45pm EST
  • The phrase was common as far back as the early 70's when I was in college in the midwest. I'd guess it goes back to the 60's at least.

  • Hooking up
  • Posted by Howard Veit at USC on January 29, 2008 at 1:00pm EST
  • 1. How does hooking up differ from the older quest for the "sure thing?" Men are always on the hunt and it makes no difference how the hunt is described or takes place. All it takes a hunter and a "willing prey."
    2. Walk of shame? The lady is nuts. Any girl who wants to hide what she did the night before can just pick up her cell phone and call for a ride. And if she is walking in daylight, she is advertising her lack of sexual boundaries, not hiding.

  • Walk of Shame
  • Posted by Light at Va Tech on January 29, 2008 at 1:20pm EST
  • The walk of shame was only a "bad" thing for girls since everyone knew she spent the night not at home. It's kind of hard for a girl to get a ride from the guy's dorm room to hers by the way. She still has to walk through a dorm full of guys, then a dorm full of her friends.

    As far as girls go paying for dinner, it happens. Often times it depends on who asks who out on the date! Girl asks guy, she pays usually. With girls being just as or more capable than guys, especially in academics, girls are far more empowered now and more inclined to pick up the tab or go halves. It was a rule of mine in college to not ever buy a girl a drink just so she'd talk with me. I'd always start out talking first, and make her a deal that I get the first round and she get the second. This eliminated bar trolls for me... the girls who go to a bar to feed off guy's buying them drinks, but completely feigning interest.

  • Posted by miracatta on January 29, 2008 at 2:30pm EST
  • I am so glad I went to a women's college, and recommend women's college for ALL girls.

  • growing out of it?
  • Posted by Ray on January 29, 2008 at 2:30pm EST
  • I've been out of college for 15 years, and it surprises me that dating is still around at all. Is it more or less demeaning to have your behavior referred to as a "script?" Hooking up, in my opinion, is a much more open and honest method of interaction when compared to the old tradition of the guy trying to "buy" sex with dinner and gifts, and the girl using sex to "bribe" the guy into a relationship.

  • Shame? Player?
  • Posted by In the know on January 29, 2008 at 3:30pm EST
  • I was a student from '97 to '02 and am familiar with the term "Walk of Shame". Mostly the term derives from a young lady spending the night with a man cruel enough to not give her a proper ride home after a night of shared enjoyment.

    As for the terms "slut" and "player", the author seems to think that they are disproportionate terms. I was in a long-term exclusive relationship with a woman who many termed a "slut". Her social life, frankly, suffered no noticeable negative effects from her promiscuity. Meanwhile, my current relationship almost never got off the ground because a mutual acquaintance said that I was somewhat of a "player".

    I think that the author may suffer from some bias against men for that reason and for the fact that she focuses only on how the power dynamic affects women students. As any man who spent far too many lonely nights as a Freshman can attest, the blade slices harshly in both directions.

  • HA!
  • Posted by Befuddled on January 29, 2008 at 3:45pm EST
  • I wish young men today could go to an all-mens college so they wouldn't have to endure this ritual. Oh wait, nevermind.

  • Posted by Larry on January 29, 2008 at 4:40pm EST
  • Ray raises a good issue. A lot of the dialogue seems to presuppose that there is something immoral about one-night stands. (I am sick of the word “hooking up.” That is what I do with my printer and DVD player.) Really. There is not. It seems a lot more honest than the “script” of dates which seem very similar to prostitution.

    Women are in control of themselves. While a lot of their behavior is annoying (i.e. talking loud in public places about one night stands), I realize that they are growing up and experimenting with different lifestyles.

    Finally, I find it strange that the author doesn’t realize that many people don’t live like this. People DO graduate virgins. People DO have steady relationships. Some people have polyamorous relationships within a small circle of people (that stay connected after graduation).

  • Hurray for Co-Ed Universities
  • Posted by Chuck on January 29, 2008 at 4:40pm EST
  • What a good thing it is that 97-98% of all women college students do not follow *miracatta*'s advice.

  • Death of dating.
  • Posted by Stanislaus Dundon , Professor Emeritus at California State University, Sacramento on January 29, 2008 at 4:50pm EST
  • For those interested in understanding the full impact of the "core culture" of college life defined by Dr. Bogle in her book "Hooking Up" as relatively heedless promiscuity, reading Dr.Miriam Grossman's "Unprotected" will help. To picture the inevitably greater harm to women in this "core culture" as largely "disappointment" verges on dishonesty. That graduates into the real world tend to return to dating and a saner approach to marriage and family is comforting, but how much permanent harm is done? How many women get derailed from their education entirely as a result of the trivialization of the most important development in their young lives. The woman gives all of herself physically and the man gives nothing except possibly a disease. If I were still teaching "Contemporary Moral Issues" I would assign the Bogle's and Grossman's books and toss in Wendy Shalit's "Return to Modesty."

    If any other hazard, like binge drinking, existed on campus which harmed as few as 1% of girls who engage in it, an administratively well supported (and health center too) program to warn about it would be mounted to reduce the risk of the hazard or at least to warn students and parents about it. How about a poster: BEWARE OF CASUAL SEX, MOST WOMEN ON THIS CAMPUS (give percentage)WHO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN IT REGRET IT. MANY OF THOSE HAVE SEEN IT DAMAGE THEIR GRADES AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH. DON'T TRY TO GET GOOD AT IT. IT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

    I don't think parents view sending their children to college as throwing them into a socially enforced pig-pen. And given the totally predictable imbalance of immediate harms going to women, I find the failure of women's studies programs to offer leadership here rather stunning. My admiration and apologies go those women's studies programs that do take action.

  • Walk of Shame
  • Posted by Anonymous on January 29, 2008 at 6:35pm EST
  • The phrase "walk of shame" is a pun on "walk of fame." It's a humorous exaggeration with a grain of truth: no matter how positively students might view the hookup, the walk -- sober, disheveled, early -- is something different, and embarrassing.

  • The Problem with Sociology
  • Posted by Robert on January 29, 2008 at 6:35pm EST
  • Sociology's core problem is that it fails to consider ethics, instead researching everything from the presumption of normalcy. (I say this as a former sociology major who changed to philosophy for just this reason.)

    Hooking up, for instance, has a nasty habit of destroying people's capacity (or willingness) to function in long-term relationships. Have a fight with your spouse? Why make up when you can just go hook up?

    Relationships require work, compromise, and the character to actually do what is needed to keep yourself *and your spouse* happy. To be sure, we all know that people don't always succeed, but with sex and its faux intimacy readily available, the impetus to develop lasting relationships wanes.

    The sociologist seemed entirely uninterested in such considerations . . . as a sociologist would be.

  • Get a grip, folks
  • Posted by Shawna on January 29, 2008 at 7:45pm EST
  • This may come as a shock to some of the more prudish and prim and proper folks here, but many women enjoy the company of men, social and sexual, and we take the normal precautionary steps.

    Many of my women friends and I call it "portfolio dating." There isn't any one particular man who meets all our needs, wants and desires so we diversify. Some of you monogamy defenders may be alarmed and cluck your disapproval but try hard to see another point of view.

    It's called a diversity or variety of viewpoints and many academics are always praising it.

    And in 2008 it is here to stay, whatever else you may call it.

  • "WALK OF SHAME"
  • Posted by Lawyer , WALK OF SHAME on January 29, 2008 at 10:35pm EST
  • Badger is right; we used this term in the mid-70's for the "morning after" walk home. Dating culture in that era wasn't perfect, but it was better than what we have now on campus. Hookup culture seems to have evolved logically (read: slippery slope) from the frat party/Animal House culture of those Pre-AIDS days, and I agree that the shift in numbers on campus (from women less than 50% to more than 50%) probably has had a role in the change. Accepting what the author claims --that hookup culture works great only for the men (DUH!)-- I would suggest that young women in college need to band together and exercise their natural control over access to their persons. The men can't make you show up at their parties and other gatherings. You are choosing to do that. Force them to come to you. (Trust me; they will). THAT'S empowerment.

  • The US, ****ing Itself Into Extinction
  • Posted by Scrawed on January 30, 2008 at 6:00pm EST
  • "Many of my women friends and I call it “portfolio dating.” There isn’t any one particular man who meets all our needs, wants and desires so we diversify."

    With such attitudes as these, which more than likely persist after marriage, no wonder the US "enjoys" such high divorce rates and all the related social and economic problems resulting therefrom.

  • Use and Be Used
  • Posted by lillymac on February 1, 2008 at 11:45am EST
  • "Use and be used" would more aptly be the term for the Hook Up culture. Sad. Then add the abuse of substances to the mix and the degradation deepens. What are we? Human beings or objects? Souls or shells? It would take all day to cite the influences that have brought us to this depraved state.

  • hey Larry
  • Posted by MTK , Director of Admissions at Finlandia University on February 1, 2008 at 3:10pm EST
  • Hey Larry, you're still around. Man, have I missed you since I left South Carolina and moved North, way North. I am so happy to be back and reading everyone's comments, like coming home again. It feels right. Now as for the book and article, I agree with Larry, which can be rare, I don't care for the term Hook Up. As long as their are young men and young women, there will be sexual experiences, it's not new, you know. And, yes, faithful relationships do come out of college, take mine of 25 years, see it does work.

  • There's nothing new under the sun ...
  • Posted by Gunny , Pastor at Providence Church on February 3, 2008 at 9:05pm EST
  • A lot of this could be attributed to immaturity and a new found freedom that is not properly understood.

    With limited constraint, it's no surprise that people tend to live more than a little short-sighted in these areas.

    More often that not, I was disappointed in the girls I saw hook up with many of my buddies, thinking that they lacked respect for themselves and were far too often "played" in the process.

    After nearly 15 years of marriage to my collegiate sweetheart, I will say that it's not impossible to develop a lasting relationship in the midst of the "hook up" culture.

  • You all are missing the Point!
  • Posted by LindaH on February 3, 2008 at 9:05pm EST
  • When I read the comments on this article, it seems the primary response is how contrary the words "Walk of shame" and "Hook-up" is. The point you all seem to miss is that there is no relationship, only emptiness. Even the readers are so desensitized to the potential for beauty and destruction, the Heart of the Matter.
    Sad.......so very, very sad. They can have plenty of bangin' sex but lack the ability to bond in any meaningful way in the future.

  • ....missing the point.
  • Posted by Chris John Lynch , Missing the point? on February 8, 2008 at 10:50pm EST
  • What a shame to think the world is going to hell in a hand basket because the ritual of dating has changed. First, let's make this clear, they are adults and not children. So many of the reactionary comments seem to assume that what is going on is immoral and dangerous and that we need to stop these pesky students.
    Get a grip! they are not little kids anymore. The notion that they do not know what they are doing is just plain insulting, and sexist by the way, figuring it is the innocent girls that seem to know the least.
    Oh and another scary thought, maybe (just maybe) the girls are enjoying themselves. God forbid women are allowed to be sexual. Let alone are able experience more than one member of the opposite sex.
    Its funny, this is typical backhanded discourse, especially in regards to women's rights. Assume the current trend is bad, blame the evil pig men, and then victimize the women by turning her into the literal victim.

  • Dominant Culture
  • Posted by Kevin Torres on April 5, 2008 at 4:05pm EDT
  • Great work by Dr. Bogle to bring us the reality of the collegiate culture today. It's very interesting that women desire "sexual and romantic relationships" as opposed to a long, loving, and lasting relationship. If sex is what women seek then "hooking up" is the appropriate starting point. But if what they seek is a relationship for as long as they both shall live then being counter-cultural and staying pure is definitely the way to go.

  • This is dangerous...
  • Posted by Ted on April 7, 2008 at 6:05pm EDT
  • It is dangerous. And not just because of the STD or pregnancy risk. It's dangerous because this way of thinking is overflowing into society even after college. It's not about experimenting with different lifestyles...it's about creating a disposable world. Is your TV broke? Don't fix it, get a new one! Bored of your boyfriend? Don't work on the problems, just get a new one! This is it, we've done it. People have now become "things." And this behavior is now a horrible, endless cycle. Here's how I see hooking up: Girls are hooking up, only to become disappointed, and then eventually desensitized and cynical of love. The girl then hooks up with a guy that's never hooked up before. The guy falls in love but the girl just wanted a hookup. The guy is heartbroken, then angry, then eventually desensitized and cynical of love. So he hooks up with an innocent girl who's never hooked up before and has expectations of a long-term-relationship, only to hook up with this new "player" and then become disappointed. Then whole process starts all over again, only to spin out of control. I like to believe the world wasn't always this screwed up. But maybe it was and I just didn't know about it.

  • Learning about "life"
  • Posted by Bill Z , learning on July 20, 2008 at 12:50pm EDT
  • Life is a journey. There are no absolutes; there is learning. You never stop learning. But there are some things in life that can only be learned by experience especially when it comes to finding out what you like and don't like- what you want and don't want- what you are good at and what you are not good at- what you find morally and ethically acceptable or not. Sometimes we get hurt. Thats a good learning "tool". Unfortunate, yes. But when learning by expereince, is there any other way?

  • IMHO
  • Posted by College Student on August 3, 2008 at 2:55pm EDT
  • It has been my experience, after two years of college, that the hook-up culture is a damaging thing. I came out of a serious high school relationship that was loving and caring and respectful and was thrust into a world where I actually had friends get excited when guys asked for their phone numbers after a sexual encounter. I remember talking to a friend about a guy I thought was cute and she said "yeah and he's so nice too! like he'd totally drive you home in the morning!". Do they even listen to themselves speak? Where have standards of behavior gone? Where are my peers expectations of one another? It's actually looked down upon to expect something of someone you engage in sexual behavior with, if you do then you are unrealistic and too demanding and clingy. At least half of my very good friends have been date raped (some more than once). It makes me sad and angry. Yes it's true that young women can enjoy sex, that it's not necessarily a moral issue, and that young men can have similar experiences and disappointments. The point is that young people in college are developing in a way so that they have no faith or trust in their peers with regard to romance and sex. It's sad and while I love college and I love my friends, all I can do is hope for the future and act in accordance with what I see as healthy for me personally even if it makes me a little lonely in the meantime.

  • hooking up
  • Posted by Carole Clarke on December 25, 2008 at 1:30pm EST
  • The guys must love this, they don't even have to worry about hurting someone's feelings, they just move on. It has lowered sex which should be something beautiful between two people to a physical activity like brushing your teeth. The girls may think they are really hip but the truth is they are just being used, like a toothbrush. It is still left to the female to prevent pregnancy. If an STD occurs, just go get a shot, who cares? If you are "hooking up" you are stating that deeper feelings are not important to you. It's another aspect of considering everything disposable.

  • Paradox Pointed Out
  • Posted by Philippe Treuille , Music/Liberal Arts at Northwestern University on March 10, 2009 at 5:00am EDT
  • Joke or not, the use of the term "shame" is what Kathleen wants people to recognize.  It is a term which, in general, is used derogatorily, and so reflects, at some point in time, a recognition of doubt towards the subject matter (one-night stands) among students, whether or not people here or there use it with a more positive connotation or negative connotation.  She's trying to point out the paradox underlying the continued use of the term, in a system where it appears to be accepted maybe even appreciated, even if only in a vague web of misunderstood projections.