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Ready to Feel Old?

August 18, 2009

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Beloit College attempts to help academics each summer with its "Mindset List," which is updated annually to reflect what the latest class of freshmen will have experienced -- and what they may have no personal knowledge of. This year's list follows, as prepared by Tom McBride, professor of humanities at the college, and Ron Nief, emeritus public affairs director. The list is based on the assumption that most students entering college for the first time this year were born in 1991, meaning -- the list reminds us -- that for these students, Martha Graham, Pan American Airways, Michael Landon, Dr. Seuss, Miles Davis, The Dallas Times Herald, Gene Roddenberry, and Freddie Mercury have always been dead.

Here's the list:

1. Dan Rostenkowski, Jack Kevorkian, and Mike Tyson have always been felons.

2. The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables.

3. They have never used a card catalog to find a book.

4. Margaret Thatcher has always been a former prime minister.

5. Salsa has always outsold ketchup.

6. Earvin "Magic" Johnson has always been HIV-positive.

7. Tattoos have always been very chic and highly visible.

8. They have been preparing for the arrival of HDTV all their lives.

9. Rap music has always been mainstream.

10. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream has always been a flavor choice.

11. Someone has always been building something taller than the Willis (née Sears) Tower in Chicago.

12. The KGB has never officially existed.

13. Text has always been hyper.

14. They never saw the “Scud Stud” (but there have always been electromagnetic stud finders.)

15. Babies have always had a Social Security Number.

16. They have never had to “shake down” an oral thermometer.

17. Bungee jumping has always been socially acceptable.

18. They have never understood the meaning of R.S.V.P.

19. American students have always lived anxiously with high-stakes educational testing.

20. Except for the present incumbent, the President has never inhaled.

21. State abbreviations in addresses have never had periods.

22. The European Union has always existed.

23. McDonald's has always been serving Happy Meals in China.

24. Condoms have always been advertised on television.

25. Cable television systems have always offered telephone service and vice versa.

26. Christopher Columbus has always been getting a bad rap.

27. The American health care system has always been in critical condition.

28. Bobby Cox has always managed the Atlanta Braves.

29. Desperate smokers have always been able to turn to Nicoderm skin patches.

30. There has always been a Cartoon Network.

31. The nation’s key economic indicator has always been the Gross Domestic Product (GDP).

32. Their folks could always reach for a Zoloft.

33. They have always been able to read books on an electronic screen.

34. Women have always outnumbered men in college.

35. We have always watched wars, coups, and police arrests unfold on television in real time.

36. Brits have always owned The New York Daily News.

37. Amateur radio operators have never needed to know Morse code.

38. Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Armenia, Latvia, Georgia, Lithuania, and Estonia have always been independent nations.

39. It's always been official: President Zachary Taylor did not die of arsenic poisoning.

40. Madonna’s perspective on Sex has always been well documented.

41. Phil Jackson has always been coaching championship basketball.

42. Ozzy Osbourne has always been coming back.

43. Kevin Costner has always been Dancing with Wolves, especially on cable.

44. There have always been flat screen televisions.

45. They have always eaten Berry Berry Kix.

46. Disney’s Fantasia has always been available on video, and It’s a Wonderful Life has always been on Moscow television.

47. Smokers have never been promoted as an economic force that deserves respect.

48. Elite American colleges have never been able to fix the price of tuition.

49. Nobody has been able to make a deposit in the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI).

50. Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on.

51. Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.

52. They have never been Saved by the Bell.

53. Someone has always been asking: “Was Iraq worth a war?”

54. Most communities have always had a mega-church.

55. Natalie Cole has always been singing with her father.

56. The status of gays in the military has always been a topic of political debate.

57. Elizabeth Taylor has always reeked of White Diamonds.

58. There has always been a Planet Hollywood.

59. For one reason or another, California’s future has always been in doubt.

60. Agent Starling has always feared the Silence of the Lambs.

61. “Womyn” and “waitperson” have always been in the dictionary.

62. Members of Congress have always had to keep their checkbooks balanced since the closing of the House Bank.

63. There has always been a computer in the Oval Office.

64. CDs have never been sold in cardboard packaging.

65. Avon has always been “calling” in a catalog.

66. NATO has always been looking for a role.

67. Two Koreas have always been members of the UN.

68. Official racial classifications in South Africa have always been outlawed.

69. The NBC Today Show has always been seen on weekends.

70. Vice presidents of the United States have always had real power.

71. Conflict in Northern Ireland has always been slowly winding down.

72. Migration of once independent media like radio, TV, videos and compact discs to the computer has never amazed them.

73. Nobody has ever responded to “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

74. Congress could never give itself a mid-term raise.

75. There has always been blue Jell-O.

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Comments on Ready to Feel Old?

  • Class of '13er
  • Posted by Kevin on August 18, 2009 at 9:30am EDT
  • Respondez, s'il vous plait...but yes, I'd say basically all the others apply. Weird for me to think that those haven't all always been a part of everyone's lives (especially #10...)

  • Thank the Social Studies teachers
  • Posted by Brian Hopewell on August 18, 2009 at 10:00am EDT
  • Nice job Beloit--I *do* feel old--but we should all be thankful to the legion of K-12 teachers and the many parents who take history seriously enough to make many of these statements (12, 22, 38, 66, 90) seem silly even to 18 year olds.

  • A Blackberry maybe...
  • Posted by Sam F on August 18, 2009 at 2:00pm EDT
  • ...but there still isn't a computer in the oval office.

  • new enough
  • Posted by Tiny But Tough , Lecturer, Writing Program at UC Merced on August 18, 2009 at 2:15pm EDT
  • Nice to see my alma mater is keeping current. However, if you listen to hiphop you can hear what your students do know.

  • RSVP
  • Posted by Maurice at American University of Beirut on August 19, 2009 at 5:15am EDT
  • Mon dieu Kevin - "répondez s'il vous plaît" is correct and may be translated as "please respond" Never "respondez" that's Franglais. Lynn Truss would haul you over the coals if she ever read your comment :-)

  • Shrek versu Green Giant
  • Posted by Ron on August 20, 2009 at 10:00am EDT
  • Surprising that

    2. The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not the big guy picking vegetables.

    made the list considering Shrek was not released until 2001 when the students were ten years old.

  • interesting but...
  • Posted by Sione Aeschliman on August 20, 2009 at 5:45pm EDT
  • This is interesting and yes, does make me feel a little old, but I'm unclear about how people use this information to connect with students or otherwise improve student learning. Any ideas?

  • Posted by Anton on August 21, 2009 at 1:15pm EDT
  • It makes me feel smart.

  • pursuit of what, exactly?
  • Posted by Beloit Class of 77-er , College (freshman) Writing Program at SUNY on August 21, 2009 at 7:00pm EDT
  • Along the same lines "interesting but" above, what strikes me about this list is the trivial nature of most of the entries, like #2 before any mention of the two wars begun before this class entered their teens and still at pretty much full throttle, speaking of "always." Maybe it's a function of Beloit's rather more privileged population than the public school student body I teach now, but the difference between my recent students' assumptions about the world and my own seem less kickily ironic and more dire. Number 19, about the anxiety of high-stakes testing, seems most insightful. And I'd add that for both men and women entering freshman, the alternative of having to go to one of those wars has always been a very real possibility to college, sometimes the only one.

  • How Old Am I?????
  • Posted by guitarbob , Lecturer, College of Computing at Georgia Institute of Technology on September 8, 2009 at 2:15pm EDT
  • I'm 55 and flew helicopters in the Army, before retiring and teaching in college. Recently during a class I was relating a tale that happened when I was flying helicopters in Berlin (in the 1980's). At the end of class, a student came up to me and started the conversation, "So you flew in World War II....."

    I had a slide cautioning the students about a common problem they might experience and I started the slide with: "WARNING WARNING Will Robinson" -- Only a couple of students knew what I meant.

    Pass the geritol please, and make mine a double.