April 12, 2006

The Silencer

The decline of Western civilization proceeds apace. One shudders to imagine life in decades hence. A case in point: People now use cell phones in research libraries.

Wandering the stacks, they babble away in a blithe and full-throated manner -– conversing, not with their imaginary friends (as did the occasional library-haunting weirdo of yesteryear) but rather with someone who is evidently named “Dude,” and who might, for all one knows, be roaming elsewhere in the building: an audible menace to all serious thought and scholarly endeavor.

This situation is intolerable. It must not continue. I have given this matter long consideration, and can offer a simple and elegant solution: These people ought to be shot.

I am no extremist, please understand; no gun nut in a rural compound; no wild-eyed advocate of freelance vigilantism. Just a temperate and long-suffering citizen who has heard quite enough about the affairs of Dude for one lifetime.

Max Weber pointed out that one of the hallmarks of modernity is that the state retains a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence. I have no disagreement with that principle. It just seems like time for it to be applied in a new way.

The people who do the shooting ought to be suitably trained, tested, and certified. (Their accuracy as marksmen would be demonstrated beyond all doubt.) A poster at the entrance to the building would give fair warning that no cell-phone conversations are permitted beyond a certain clearly marked boundary line. The consequence of violating this rule could be illustrated with artwork, perhaps involving some easily recognized cartoon character.

Shooting with actual bullets might be excessive. If the budget permits, some kind of taser gun would be appropriate. Failing that, buckshot would probably do the trick.

Admittedly, a rational person could object to my plan. “Wouldn’t shooting cell-phone users in research libraries be counterproductive?” you might well ask. “Wouldn’t that actually make the library more noisy?”

A fair point. Yes, it would. But not for long....

I began pursuing this line of thought under two inspirations. One of them came from reading the conservative British essayist Theodore Dalrymple, who frequently contributes to The New Criterion. A selection of his work appeared last year in Our Culture, What’s Left of It: The Mandarins and the Masses, published by Ivan R. Dee. There is a grand tradition of reactionary cultural criticism. Regarding comprehensive misanthropy as a justified inference from the available evidence about mankind, it turns disgust into a systematic world view. Dalrymple often seems like the most skilled practitioner of this approach now writing in the English language. Many rant; few have his gift for it.

So, in part, I wanted to pay homage. At the same time, Dalrymple comes to mind for a reason. My policy suggestions are the result of long experience and growing frustration. In other words, I want to shoot those people. I really, really do.

Which is not, of course, a socially acceptable emotion. Acting on it is discouraged by law. One understands this, of course; hence the imagined compromise, in which trained personnel would execute the punishment.

Being forced to listen to one side of a manifestly inane conversation is now a routine part of public life. It is tolerable on the street — but not, somehow, in a library; and in one mostly full of academic tomes maybe least of all. What’s worse, the rot is spreading.

Professors routinely complain about the presence of cell phones in the classroom. But the culpability is not so one-sided as all that.

A friend reports attending a session of a major scholarly conference — a panel on some grave topic in military history, I think. From the audience came the distinctive noise of a cell phone ringing.

No surprise there, of course. But then its owner pulled out the phone, answered it, and began a conversation.

Here, a line has been crossed. Some implicit rule of conduct (normally unstated, simply because nobody should have to spell it out) has been violated. A fissure in civility has appeared — and the responsible party deserves to be swallowed up in the abyss so opened.

At very least, that person has lost all reasonable claim to immunity from having a powerful blast of electricity delivered to his or her system by somebody carrying a stun gun and a permit.

Not likely, though. Without being too much a determinist about this, it does seem as if technology, in making certain kinds of behavior possible, also makes it inescapable. That, in turn, results in deep changes in attitude and personality.

A sense of entitlement trumps the capacity for embarrassment. By that point, there’s no going back.

Or is there? For many years now, I’ve been a fan of The Civilizing Process by the late Norbert Elias, a great study in historical sociology that was first published in 1939. In it, Elias worked out an account of how behavior changed in Europe between the middle ages and the early 20th century. He analyzed the evidence from diaries, letters, and etiquette books to see how the rules of everyday conduct developed over time. Things considered acceptable and normal in one century would be regarded with disgust and outrage in another.

Elias found that such changes were not a matter of fashion or whim. Nor were they trivial. The rules governing routine behavior were tied to two long-term processes underway. One was the growing complexity and interdependence of economic life. The other was the concentration of military power in the hands of the state. (We take it for granted now that the army or police are — or at least should be — accountable to the political authorities. But this is actually a fairly recent development in human history.)

As these tendencies were taking shape on the macro level, the little rules of daily life were changing accordingly. To keep things running more or less smoothly, each person was expected to internalize certain rules. Things that once happened without anyone noticing them came under increasing scrutiny.

“Do not spit into the basin when you wash your hands,” a medieval text admonished, “but beside it.” In 1714, a French handbook on etiquette suggested that you not spit unless absolutely necessary. In that case, be discreet enough to put your foot on it. (Also: “Do not spit so far that you have to look for the saliva to put your foot on it.”) By 1859, a British author noted that spitting was not just disgusting “but very bad for the health” — so you should never do it, period.

A similar change could be traced in discussions of flatulence. In 1530, the very learned Erasmus of Rotterdam noted: “If it can be purged without noise that is best. But it is better that it be emitted without much noise than that it be held back.” If necessary, he said, you should cough simultaneously to avoid embarrassment. (My wife, who gave me The Civilizing Process as a birthday present some years back, would probably rather I not cite Erasmus so much.) By 1729, a French rulebook warned that the release of gas “is very impolite ... either from above or from below, even if it is done without noise.”

Over the course of two or three hundred years, then, the expectation grew that each individual would practice more and more self-regulation. Social life, as Elias puts it, came to resemble a modern highway: “Every individual is himself regulating his behavior with the utmost exactitude in accordance with the necessities of this network. The chief danger that people here represent for others results from someone in this bustle losing his self-control.”

It is the analysis of table manners that most closely anticipates the present cell-phone problem. Originally, the use of knives and forks was restricted to very elite members of the aristocracy. At first, even some of them found it pretentious and affected. (Here, one thinks of the portable phones of the 1980s, which were nearly as big as your head, and seemed mainly to be used by hotshot lawyers and stockbrokers trying to broadcast how very important they were.)

As the use of eating utensils spread, various rules emerged. “Do not clean your teeth with your knife,” the advice books often warned. That is a pretty good indication that lots of people were cleaning their teeth with their knives, since you don’t have to forbid something nobody actually does.

But Elias also notes something even more interesting. The knife, while a useful tool at the dinner table, was also potentially a dangerous instrument of aggression. The very sight of it may have provoked a fear that it would inspire hostility — or that, if you mishandled it, you might carelessly hurt somebody else.

So the pressure grew discouraging people from using knives at the dinner table for any but a very few functions. If a piece of food can be cut with the edge of a fork (the rule goes) you should do so. By no means stab a hunk of steak with your knife and eat it. Etc.

“There is a tendency that slowly permeates civilized society, from top to bottom,” writes Elias, “to restrict the use of the knife ... and wherever possible not to use it at all.”

The cell phone, then, is a little like a fart, and a lot like a knife. In the most optimistic scenario, people will learn to control their behavior over time. Civility will be restored. It should take about two centuries. I figure three, tops.

Scott McLemee writes Intellectual Affairs each week. He also blogs at Quick Study.

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Comments

Right on, Scott!

Please, also, shoot the morons — yes, morons — who talk on their cellular telephones at gasoline pumps.

As a former telephone engineer, let me be specific — doing that is MORONIC. You know — electricity + gasoline = EXPLOSION.

But, of course, you point out the safety signs to the average schmuck — he reaches for the ACLU and F. Lee Bailey.

Real, idiotic morons. As in polluting the frackin’ gene pool.

As to those who talk a lot on their cellular telephones — I’m reminded of the sage, W.J. O’Reilly, who noted that if you talk long enough, you will say something stupid. The aforementioned morons have proven that.

R.A.S, at 5:55 am EDT on April 12, 2006

One Step Back and Three Steps Forward

The trouble with Western civilization is it’s just too damned civilized. Saddam Hussein knew that, but no one would listen to him.

Many years ago when I started teaching high school algebra students, I thought every school should be surrounded by one of those old wrought-iron spiked fences and every teacher should be supplied with a double-edged sword. Then when Johnny gets out of hand, Ms. Winkler just grabs him by the hair ... and off with his head. After school, all of his classmates walk past what’s left of Johnny’s intellect just sitting there on one of the iron spikes, smiling at all the world ... and the school’s discipline problems are solved ... at least until memories of Johnny’s experience have faded into the past. But would anyone heed my suggestion? Nooooo ... and today discipline in our schools is at an all-time low.

My friends keep telling me Gordon Tullock will get a Nobel Prize in economics for all of that really lame, quasi-mathematical stuff he has written in public choice; and maybe he will. But the most interesting theorem I recall from his work is related to automobile seat belts. Tullock claimed that if you want people to drive safely you shouldn’t make them feel safe when they’re doing stupid things by providing them with air bags and seat belts. Instead, you should mount a dagger right in the center of the steering column, pointing directly at the chest of the driver. Has anyone listed to Professor Tullock on this account? Nooooo ... and the road-rage inspired by careless drivers, all strapped in and protected by air bags, is epidemic.

So Scott, I am unalterably opposed to your suggestion that “The people who do the shooting [of those in public places talking on their cell phones] ought to be suitably trained, tested, and certified. (Their accuracy as marksmen would be demonstrated beyond all doubt.).” I believe just the opposite. I am all for an open season on our ever-growing cell-phone herd ... and for anyone who is a licensed hunter. Indeed, I hope Charleton Heston and the NRA get involved in this as soon as possible.

And the taxidermy opportunities are just mind boggling. I can’t tell you how much I would enjoy having the upper torso of a heavy-browed, big-man-on-campus mounted on my office wall, wearing his baseball cap backwards and holding his cell phone to his ear. And how about a strikingly blonde Valley girl, all made up and with her pink cell phone burried under those lovely locks. Damn, I love those images! Cell phone rage anyone?

By the way, every one of my syllabi include the following statement, “Please understand that if your cell phone ever rings in class you will automatically get an F in this course.” You will not be surprised to learn that I have never had to give an F for that reason. My threat – which I fully intend to honor should it ever happen – is effective, but just thinking about those wrought-iron spiked fences and double-edged swords warms my heart.

As I said, we can accelerate the excellence of civilization by occasionally taking one step backwards before taking three steps forward.

RWH, at 6:05 am EDT on April 12, 2006

I’m reminded of the Arrogant Worms song, the chorus of which goes “Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw / and he never has the same problem twice.”

Jonathan Dresner, at 6:30 am EDT on April 12, 2006

Creating More Public Disdain Will Help

I can’t think of a library that hasn’t had to deal with cell phone chatter — in the stacks, near the comptuters, over by the study rooms, and just about anywhere you go in the library. When the students complain I tell them they need to work together to create a culture of quiet. When others are talking away on cell phones or when the ringtones fire off, students need to say something to those who are behaving disrespectfully with their e-devices (it’s not just cell phones — they can be playing games on computers without headphones, listening to MP3 players at top volume, etc). We have helped by creating quite study zones — where there is signage indicating cell phones need to be off or set to vibrate and conversations must be taken elsewhere. This helps students to feel more comfortable policing the problem on their own. But because we know we can’t eliminate all the poor behavior we also have a noisy zones where its all right to get louder or have your cell phone go off. At least those who situate themselves in these areas know what they’re in for. Sort of like the smoking section at a restaurant.

StevenB, librarian at philadelphia university, at 9:00 am EDT on April 12, 2006

The Silencer

Amen! and Amen! As a librarian at a major university, I’ve told numerous students cell phones aren’t allowed in the library. We’ve raised a generation of students and adults who have a pathetic baby need to be in 24/7 contact with other people. We should feel free to tell cell phone users that no one cares to hear their inane conversations and they should plan their telecommunication habits before they go into public. As a deterrent to their use in libraries, we should post pictures of Abu Ghraib prison detainees or victims of dictatorial mass murders such as occurred in Nazi Germany, the Stalinist Soviet Union, and elsewhere.

Bert Chapman, Purdue University, at 9:00 am EDT on April 12, 2006

“. . . since you don’t have to forbid something nobody actually does.”

Really? A quick review of the some of the more petty rules I remember from high school suggests otherwise. Never underestimate the influence of a feverish imagination on the proclamations of puritans, moralizers, and busybodies.

Maurice Meilleur, Professor at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, at 10:05 am EDT on April 12, 2006

Perhaps a more Clockwork Orange type of solution would be fitting. Tie them to a chair somewhere with a very, very good book that they want to read very badly. As soon as they turn a page, one hundred cellphones ring in their ears. Aversion therapy.

Paul Gowder, at 10:05 am EDT on April 12, 2006

Just use the stun guns on the offender’s phones. That will solve the problem and cause a lot less legal trouble. Other options include a hammer or a foot and sturdy pair of boots!

Bryan Smith, at 11:10 am EDT on April 12, 2006

The loss of public space

What disturbs me most about cell phones is the loss of the concept of shared public space that used to be represented by the soundproof phone booth. As soon as your cell phone rings, the public space you were sharing with others becomes for you the private space of your virtual conversation, and anyone who objects is treated as rude and intrusive. I’ve come out of a restaurant and found a young woman sitting on the ground weeping loudly into her cell phone, and I’ve given a wide berth to an enraged woman screaming into her cell phone in an airport, both apparently oblivious to anyone or anything around them. Still, as a college library director I refuse to ban cell phones entirely—phones have been ringing in libraries for more than a century, and people probably held hushed conversations in the library of ancient Alexandria. But I do remind those who use cell phones in our library where they are. If someone is carrying on a conversation of any sort, real or virtual, that distrubs others, I interrupt them to say that they’re sharing a public space created for the purpose of quiet study, and that they should take their conversations outside, or into a small, soundproof room.

Damon Hickey, Director of Libraries at The College of Wooster, at 11:10 am EDT on April 12, 2006

I’ve never been able to understand this complaint. People are not supposed to carry on loud conversations in the library. Can’t this person be treated the same as if the person on the other side of the phone was present? In fact don’t you prefer to hear only one side of the conversation rather than two?

Samwise, at 11:10 am EDT on April 12, 2006

Oooo ... I’ve Got It! I’ve Got It!

I am a big fan of Michigan ice hockey, and the Wolverine fans are notorious for their not-always-printable cheers (see http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~wesorics/hymnal.html — H for many of the printable ones).

Occasionally, in the midst of a game at Yost Ice Arena, one will hear a telephone ring in the background of a PA announcement. When that happens, it’s customary for five or six thousand of the Michigan faithful to yell, “PHONE! Hey [opponent’s goalie’s last name], it’s your mom. And she says, ‘YOU SUCK!’”

I think that will work. A cell-phone rings in the library. Sallie Mae reaches into her backpack, retrieves her phone, opens it, and pops it up to her ear. All of a sudden forty students who will otherwise be annoyed by her blah, blah, blah stand, look directly at her, and shout in unison, “HEY PHONY ... It’s your mom ... and she says YOU SUCK!”

Remember, one step backwards followed by three steps forward!

RWH, at 2:15 pm EDT on April 12, 2006

A teaching, learning, and assessment opportunity

As educators, we’re supposed to believe, or at least pretend, that most people can learn. Shooting someone for using a cell phone in the library leaves very little room for learning. It’s pedagogically unsound. Messy, too, particularly if you use ammo that doesn’t mushroom and fragment so that it stays inside the target.

Better to turn inappropriate cell-phone use into a learning experience or teachable moment. When a student uses a cell phone in a classroom or library, have campus security escort him or her to the Etiquette Office, where the student will receive corrective instruction in manners. The precise method of instructional delivery—the knout, cudgels, a hickory switch, a rubber hose weighted with buckshot, or thumbscrews—is, of course, a question to be settled by experts. I’d favor the bastinado because a good, vigorous caning on the soles of the feet is a lesson that a student will relive with every step for at least a week, and we all know the importance of reinforcement in learning.

Defining the desired outcome of the lesson is simplicity itself, and measuring outcomes is no more difficult. Keeping track of repeat offenders who need more than one knouting or caning will let us easily assess student learning in this important area. Students who do learn not to use their cell phones in libraries and classrooms will have acquired knowledge that they can use for the rest of their lives and that will benefit society. Be honest now: Can we say the same of most stuff that colleges teach? As the number of repeat offenders mounts, as it no doubt will, we’ll have more evidence that some featherless bipeds simply can’t learn. Such data could figure prominently in a school’s accountability plans: “Don’t blame us. Some of these kids can’t even learn to avoid a beating. You expect us to teach them Virgil and Aristotle?”

Let’s turn an annoyance into an opportunity.

Bill Melater, at 4:35 pm EDT on April 12, 2006

There are technical solutions to this problem — for example: http://www.cell-block-r.com/Technology.htm. The devices are not illegal but their use should be formalized in a publicized policy. For safety’s sake, the places in which they are deployed should post some type of notice that cell phone reception is suppressed. This could be a critical safety factor — such as in a medical school library (doctor’s pages, etc.).

Bruce Harvey, at 4:35 am EDT on April 13, 2006

Cell Phones Changing Students Lives

Sadly, it seems like cell phones are perhaps having a significant impact on student life in ways that go beyond the library walls. Particularly, I’m sure we can all relate to the idea that students come into class on their phones, hang them up as they enter, and then get on them as soon as they’re heading for the door, even if they’re only speaking with a student who is in another class and calling to say, “Hey, just left class, see you in 3 minutes....” and talking the whole 3 minutes until they meet this person in the library, gym, or dining hall.

It seems that, perhaps, we should examine the culture of cell phones on our individual campuses and work with our students to understand that stopping and smelling the roses will completely become a thing of the past when people fail to do any smelling because they’re too distracted by their phone calls.

Adam, at 6:30 pm EDT on April 16, 2006

phones in the bathroom

I’m afraid the cell phone generation seems to have lost all sense of boundaries, privacy, and civility. On more than one occasion, girls were on their cell phones in a stall in the bathroom next to mine. They seem to have no shame. One was babbling on and on to someone with whom she announced that not only was she IN the bathroom that she was GOING to the bathroom. It’s gross. At the end of her inane conversation, she said, “Oh I feel better now!” I was tempted to shout from the other stall “I don’t!!”

—SAA

Susan Ariew, Research & Services Librarian for Education at USF, at 8:20 am EDT on April 17, 2006

It’s not just cell phones.

While I agree with Scott and like his sense of humor (yaaaay Scott!), the behavior of my fellow [current-]countrypeople in libraries and museums appalls me on a regular basis. Perhaps it’s having grown up in a different culture, but – ^&#$%!, people! It’s not just the act itself, it’s the complete lack of awareness that a particular public space is filled with other human beings.

/grouch

Vika Zafrin, at 9:20 am EDT on April 17, 2006

same old cell phone problem

My many years of legal research in librarys are over. If I want to read a book, I take it home. However, resturants and especially theaters are another matter. Anyone who makes a calls or receives a call at a resturant should immideatly have their plate removed or simply sit there for hours waiting for a waiter. As for the theater, all four hundred other viewers should, collectively, beat the #$%^& to death.

t macurdy, at 11:10 am EDT on April 19, 2006

Go ahead. . . make my day

I agree on all counts. One person suggested shooting in the library might create more noise, but I watch a lot of TV and I think some sort of silencer could be used. My daughter and I (along with others using the reference section of a public library) were subjected to a young woman doing business on the phone earlier this week. The only person not disturbed by her sales pitch was the person next to her using earphones. On the other hand, a police officer stopped and questioned my brother-in-law the other day because he actually stopped along the side of the road to make a call!

Andrea Pedigo, Library Media Specialist at Elementary School in Alabama, at 11:30 am EDT on April 21, 2006

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The Silencer

Related stories

Comments

Right on, Scott!

One Step Back and Three Steps Forward

Creating More Public Disdain Will Help

The Silencer

The loss of public space

Oooo ... I’ve Got It! I’ve Got It!

A teaching, learning, and assessment opportunity

Cell Phones Changing Students Lives

phones in the bathroom

It’s not just cell phones.

same old cell phone problem

Go ahead. . . make my day

Jobs Related to The Silencer

Executive Director, Laboratory of Decision Research Harvard University

Part-Time Lecturers, Department of Music Business & Entertainment Industries University of Miami

Medical Assisting Program Chair Corinthian Colleges

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Marketing Associate/Full Professor, Req# 0834 Reannouncement Florida Gulf Coast University

Assistant/Associate Professor — Sociology/Criminal Justice Old Dominion University

Assistant or Associate Professor of Information Technology and Computer Science American University of Afghanistan

Adult Education Recruitment and Retention Specialist — 693603T Miami Dade College

Faculty — Biomedical Engineering Technology DeVry University

Vice President for Enrollment Management and Student Success Fashion Institute of Technology

Executive Director, Laboratory of Decision Research
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Part-Time Lecturers, Department of Music Business & Entertainment Industries
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Corinthian Colleges

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