it ain’t just the parents

Thank you, Mr. Lipton, for addressing from your side what so many of us parents, and our way-too-many-college bound children, are experiencing right now. What interests me so much about this process is that it isn’t just parents badgering their kids to go for the golden admissions letter. This generation is after it for themselves. When my son was in elementary school he fell in with a crowd of academic all-stars—kind of the opposite of a “bad crowd.” These kids were thinking tactically about college by 8th grade, and before I knew it my son came home one day and announced “I made the debate team.” Who knew? His pals were guys who discussed SAT strategy on weekends, and triangulated AP and honors courses for fun. As his high school career blossomed, there was a logic to his involvements and aspirations that was a decade advanced from my own haphazard approach to personal development. My dad lovingly orchestrated the whole deal for me, telling me he thought I would do well at a smaller school like Bates, so I cluelessly applied, was accepted thank the academic gods, and loved it. This time around, Jake built the resume of a communications fanatic (which he is authentically), carefully selected the eight schools he has applied to, and wrote a bunch of really good essays that reflected well on who he is. I could use more of that self-knowledge even now. So on his behalf I ask, do you know anybody at UPENN, NYU, George Washington, American, Northwestern, Boston College, Syracuse, or Ithaca? You can reply to him directly; it’s his game, not mine.

Peter Moore, at 8:05 am EST on January 18, 2008

not representative

This story is not representative of what the majority of college students and parents go through. While a vast majority of college students attend colleges and universities where test scores and essays matter little, if you listened to the media and particularly this publication, you would think there is an epidemic of over-stressed students agonizing whether or not their 1500 SAT is good enough to pay the “average” college price tag of $30,000. One cannot blame colleges and universities for misinformation....the blame clearly lies with the media and in particular Inside Higher Ed.

PS, at 9:15 am EST on January 18, 2008

I think this article was a good way of just saying “chill out” to the parents and students who are frantically attempting to build some extensive resume before the child even turns 18.. There is no assertion in the article that it is representative of every student (see the part where it talks about being at a school that has very high admission standards).. I do think that students are sheltered too much, and that we rely on parents for “discipline” despite the fact that these kids are adults that should be in control of and responsible for their own academic careers (for instance, sending letters home for kids who aren’t attending).. I hear SO much talk about parents now and I just don’t even think it’s appropriate.. 50 or 60 years ago, these kids would have been working in a factory, a mine, or on a farm 12 hours a day, and many of their counterparts still are.. Can’t we just let them be adults? To be insulated against the pain of the “real world” one must have some callouses.. But you can’t develop callouses without taking some blows here and there.. Also, the section about Harvard reminds me of an article I would suggest to those parents and students obsessed with getting in to a prestigious school, called “Who Needs the Ivy League” from (I believe) Time Magazine, where they have graduates of Ivy League schools talk about how, basically, the name will open doors, but those doors can shut very quickly when you don’t perform or don’t take your academic career seriously.. Additionally, it makes a great case for considering fit of interests to the school.

Nathan, at 10:40 am EST on January 18, 2008

Missing the point

I believe that you all are missing the point... the Universities focus blame on over-bearing, helicopter parents, while parents blame money-grabbing, universities hiding behind FERPA. Meanwhile, we are all so concerned to deflect blame that we fail to notice, and care for, the student anymore. We have made the student a tool for our own agenda and forgotten that the entire experience of education is for them.

Dave Kennedy, Assistant Director at Baylor University, at 11:05 am EST on January 18, 2008

Mr. Kennedy,It is ludicrous to suggest that parents have some “agenda” in this discussion other than the welfare of their children— even misguided so-called “helicopter parents.” Most parents do not like the effects the selective college frenzy has on the social and intellectual development of high school students, effects they observe and live with first-hand. But the selective college admissions system is one that parents did not design and cannot do anything to change. At best, they can engage in some “attitude adjustment” to make a fundamentally unsatisfactory process bearable. Unfortunately, the admissions marketing and management practices of many selective colleges lead parents to conclude that schools act in their own self-interest, which increasingly does not seem to be in the interest of educational values and students. (This conclusion is reinforced by other higher ed stories in the news, such as the student loan revelations that came out of the NYS Attorney General’s investigation, and the behavior of the administration and faculty of Duke University in the Duke lacrosse team case. ) So, parents’ trust in colleges and universities to act in the best interests of their children is eroding. A welcome countervailing force is The Education Conservancy (www.educationconservancy.org) and its supporters in the college and university community, who are working to put students at the center of the admissions process. This change can only come from the leaders of colleges and universities.

Deirdre Henderson, at 12:15 pm EST on January 18, 2008

I enjoyed this article and think that it gives everyone a prompt to settle down and relax a little bit—administrators, parents, students, and professors. Mitchell Lipton states clearly that these stories come from his experience at a particular kind of institution, and makes no overly broad claims. Deirdre Henderson seems to take too personality the characterization of the bossy parent in anecdote #1. She writes, “the selective college admissions system is one that parents did not design and cannot do anything to change. At best, they can engage in some “attitude adjustment” to make a fundamentally unsatisfactory process bearable. Unfortunately, the admissions marketing and management practices of many selective colleges lead parents to conclude that schools act in their own self-interest, which increasingly does not seem to be in the interest of educational values and students.”

That’s like complaining that you bought an SUV you didn’t want to buy because of the “marketing and management practices” of automobile companies. Of course the colleges and universities are acting in their self-interest—unless and until your child enrolls, your child is not the responsiblity of those institutions. If you really don’t like the game, don’t play it. We are all bombarded by marketing messages, but it’s our job as parents to tune out the noise and cultivate our children according to our values. Encourage your child to get a good high school education, and then apply to colleges and universities that work for her. There are a lot of ways to get a college education today—don’t fall for the marketing campaign of Princetamherstbrynmore University that your child will be a loser if she doesn’t get in. And, that’s all I think Mr. Lipton wanted to suggest.

Ann Little, Associate Professor at Colorado State University, at 1:55 pm EST on January 18, 2008

Hopeful Signs

The level of cynicism about higher education is at an all-time high among students and parents, so is the amount of money being spent by colleges on marketing themselves. Recent research conducted by the Education Conservancy ("College Admissions: What Are Students Learning"), the Art and Science Group, and the Dept. of Ed, suggest that students at all income levels are being negatively impacted by what has become the confounding marketplace of college admissions.

In response, many responsible educators seem to be asking themselves: Does the current college admission system resemble one that as educators we would design? How would the current system continue to evolve in the absence of leadership beyond self/institutional self interest? Could it be that institutions have more to gain by cooperating to serve their common public interest charge (serving the needs of students) than they do by continuing to compete according to precepts defined by forces external to education, precepts that have very little educational relevance?

The collective bottom line — in what can be considered education’s tragedy of the commons — is that we each have a role to play in improving college admissions; we all have potential for educational payoff. However, colleges have a unique obligation and opportunity to lead this campaign by demonstrating the courage, imagination, and social conscience that they are entrusted to instill in their students, and to distinguish themselves in the process. The Beyond Ranking Campaign, orchestrated by the Education Conservancy and propelled by the support and participation of more than seventy colleges (including ivies, regionals, and publics), now includes philanthropic organizations, foundations, parents, and individuals. This growing movement is a hopeful sign that by working together colleges can begin to reshape college admissions into a system that exemplifies the best that education has to offer, one that serves the public interest.

lloyd thacker, director at the education conservancy, at 1:45 pm EST on January 21, 2008

We all have the same goal...really

A few years ago I worked in undergraduate admissions at Binghamton University. A prospective student and her parents were in my office—and one of the three clearly did not want to be there. The girl was gripping her arms across her chest, and was so slumped in the chair I thought she’d slip to the floor at any moment. Mom and dad immediately took control of the conversation—informing me of what their daughter was taking in high school, her extracurricular activities, what she wanted to take in college, and her ultimate career goals (doctor). Great stuff, one problem. I was asking the girl the questions, but her parents kept answering on her behalf. After about 10 minutes, I politely asked the parents to wait in the reception area because I wanted to chat briefly with their daughter. Once her parents were out of the room, I looked her in the eye and said, “Talk to me.” She finally looked up, sat up staight in her chair, and said, “I want to make films. I want to study cinema. I don’t want to be a doctor, and I don’t know what to do.” By the time she finished speaking she had tears in her eyes.

Parents—we’re not trying to take you out of the equation, or marginalize you to nothing more than tuition-payer. We realize that the transition of a child (especially the first) going off to college is emotionally difficult for the entire family. But you need to trust us. We really do want your child to be successful and happy. And to do that, we need to know what your child, our prospective student, and the soon-to-be adult, wants.

Maybe we all need to stop talking so much (admissions people are a chatty bunch), and listen a bit more.

Karen, Coordinator of Certification and Graduate Education Advisement at SUNY Brockport, at 9:55 am EST on January 24, 2008

Enough of blaming

I appreciate the frustrations here— admissions officers with parents, parents with colleges, etc.—and we all need to let off some steam from time to time.

But we all need to stay focused on the goal— helping families make student-centered choices in order to find the colleges that are right for the student.

This takes clear heads, no baggage, a well-communicated sense of common vision— and absolutely nothing else, especially no blame.

Who’s up for that?

Patrick O’Connor, Author at College is Yours in 600 Words or Less, at 12:15 pm EST on January 25, 2008

Balance

Recruiting for students and families looking for the “Right University” takes balance. Recruiters need to relate to both the parent and student. I feel strongly that student need to make up there mind of what college and major they want! They should not choose a university because of legacy or to make the parent happy to brag to others about! But hopefully they will find a school that has their specific major, clubs that relate to them and a bond that will last after graduation, as an alumnus of that institution.

I think it is important recruiters relate to parents. Parents want to send their child to a university they feel comfortable leaving there child at for 4 years. Yes we must treat our kids as adults, but please realize the families will deal with the tuition bill, the talks to encourage there child continue when they’ve had a rough day with the professor or college life in general. When students walk across that stage, in some form both student and families are graduating in a sense.

Brandy Rae Jackson, at 1:40 pm EST on February 4, 2008