Archives for Mama PhD

Motherhood

Aeron is so right to note how fortunate we are as academics. The great responsibility that brings is to make the right choices given that good fortune. She’s done that and will continue to do so. I’m not surprised since I know the kind of person she is. If anything, she minimizes the difficulties of making those choices, probably because she is one of those people who doesn’t focus on herself but rather on others.

Ross Pudaloff, at 12:50 pm EDT on July 20, 2008

Academia was very unforgiving for this mother!

Those of you who made it to the TT before mothering have had a much different experience than mine. Just ask me. I was a rising star during graduate school and at the time I finished my dissertation. Though I was a non-traditional student, older than most @ 39 when I finished (academia was a second career after IT), I had no problem finding part-time teaching jobs or opportunities. Then I had my son and everything changed.

My colleagues and associates assumed I was now on the mommy-track which in my area of the humanities (philosophy) means being a low-level lecturer with no serious consideration for tenure-track jobs. The statistics at the time I graduated in 2004 were as follows: 85% of women at the Ph.D. level had no children. In my direct experience BEFORE becoming a mom, there was open hostility against women who wanted balance. Ironically, the worst comments came from other women. Apparently, women who have sacrificed everything to build academic careers treat their sisters with derision if we do not choose the same. Women with children are viewed as less than serious about research and career (which is far from the case for most and also for me considering I devoted my whole life to my career prior to becoming a mom). Thus, for women who want to mother in academia before achieving tenure the situation is grim.

Wishing I had gone to law school....

phree, dr., at 3:00 pm EDT on July 22, 2008

adjunct teaching is unavoidable in the humanities

Aeron: You asked if my part-time teaching was TT and the answer is no. In fact, I have never seen a part-time position in philosophy that was TT I became a mom after my dissertation, but before I earned a TT position. I do teach full-time at a proprietary school and part-time at a traditional four-year college. In short, I have been mommy-tracked involuntarily because I had the audacity to work while writing the dissertation.

Second, I do not know many graduate or undergraduate students who can afford the luxury of not working, regardless of age. Thus, I taught part-time at four different institutions just to make $28k/year. In my opinion, teaching is not worth much to search committees. Though it is mentioned in ads and given minor attention in the final interview, the young star phenomenon is much more prevalent. Had I know this, I just would have slogged off to law school.

phree, at 5:05 am EDT on July 23, 2008

Jaime,

Thanks for the blog link!

I think the situation for mothers varies depending on the particular department, whether other faculty members are primary parents, etc. Which is to say, mothers in academia depend on luck, which is not a good policy!

And Phree, you’re right that teaching is not valued as it should be. However, there seem to be places where faculty are recognized and supported for their committment to teaching: Wisconsin seems to be one such system. Again, good luck to you.

Aeron, at 3:05 pm EDT on July 23, 2008

I agree with Dr. Little

I also think there is the possibility that you are taking the comment the wrong way. As the wife of a stay at home Dad, I agree that some people decide it is important to have a parent raising the child but I also agree that not everyone, male or female, has the right temperament to do so. My husband has two masters degrees and is plenty intellectual but he is also much better suited to be stay-at-home Dad than I am in terms of personality.

Physiology Mama PhD, at 1:45 pm EDT on July 23, 2008

I am guilty of this comment also, and I have never meant to imply that someone who stays at home (Ph.D. or not)is not intellectual or committed to other outside the home things. For me, I make the comment based on actual experience trying to full-time parent while working on my dissertation. After trying this for six months, I became aware of my inability to pursue mental/intellectual work at the end of a day (or during the day) of full-time parenting. I am certain this is a weakness of mine; some parents might be able to excite their two year olds about applied statistics (I’ve tried), or may find a way to weave in reading while the child sleeps or plays, but not me. Perhaps I have the “formula” wrong, but when I was full-time parenting AND trying to work on my dissertation, I had no “effective” brain time left; hence, the feeling of going crazy was very real. Part of my interest in this blog is to see how parenting and PH.D’ing intersect and to have some outstanding examples and role models of individuals who have found balance.

Karen, at 6:15 pm EDT on July 23, 2008

Thanks

to all of you for the feedback, it’s comforting and interesting to hear your consensus. And sure I agree that the right temperament may make it easier for some to be with children full-time. But also, like so many things, I would argue that you get better at being with kids full-time (maybe your temperament improves?) as you do it more.

I still must say that I have often encountered the sentiment that full-time parenting precludes much intellectual activity, and I’ll just re-emphasize my point that one who decides to become the primary caretaker for his/her kids (even long term) doesn’t lose their intellectual thirst. I certainly don’t mind if others don’t think my decision would work for them, it is a very personal choice. However, I would like people to realize that although I chose to leave the traditional tracks of the academy to be home with my children I am still intellectually engaged in the interests that led me to graduate school in the first place, and I actively seek out ways to balance and incorporate these interests into the work I do with my family, just as those employed in academic positions are constantly balancing, too.

And I’d be very interested to hear Physiology Mama’s husband’s perspective on all this!

Dana Campbell, at 5:00 am EDT on July 24, 2008

wanting and doing are separate things

I can understand that it can seem offensive for people to assume that you are not as *interested* in intellectual pursuits once you become a parent — clearly, parenthood does not have anything to do with the ability of your brain to work just as well as it did before. But my guess is that most people who make comments like the one quoted are thinking more that parenting takes *time* (not interest) away from intellectual pursuits. Certainly, being a parent (a decent one anyway) does affect the amount of time you have available for academic activities. That is simply the trade-off that must be made.

I find it interesting that child-free folks often get just as defensive about people implying that they are ’selfish’ or ‘must hate kids’, etc. There must be some way to shift these conversations to be more win-win instead of lose-lose!

Jennifer, at 5:45 pm EDT on July 25, 2008

I have had the same frustrations. When people ask me what I do and I say that I am a stay at home mom, I immediately want to follow it up with, “but I have a PhD". I get a look from working individuals that tells me that since I am a stay at home mom I obviously am not smart enough to contribute to intellectual conversation.

I want to thank you for this post and I want to add my agreement. I have a 16 month old who thrills me to no end. The fact that she is communicating plainly with me and speaking in complete sentences makes me realize that my “intellectual conversation” with her is all worth it.

Ashley, at 4:50 am EDT on July 29, 2008

Odd Framing Nails It

Didn’t have time to read all the comments (perils of the work/academic life, right?) but I thought that the post “Odd Framing” touched on something hugely important: why don’t we want to stay home with our children? Why is spending time with one’s children seen as heroic, burdensome or onerous or even something worthy of comment?

As someone who has done it all ways — stay at home PhD Mom, to flyaway adjunct, to tenure track now — the greatest hurdle I face (and this is just me, personally) is the endless labor that primary parenting involves. From wiping the bottoms to driving to cleaning to cooking to navigating extended family, the person who is primarily at home as as his or her ‘primary” tasks the tremendous task of managing several individual lives and a household. So that’s your job.

Now, if you’re smart, capable and organized, you want to, and can, do that really well. That’s hard work with no end, and no clear-cut ‘hey, good job you’ve finished’ at the finish line. You’re helping one to four other human being actualize themselves, while keeping the kitchen clean. Um. . . when am I finished with my work day?

The shock that registers surrounding stay-at-home PhD mom diminishes the vast nature of the work, which isn’t at all a non-intellectual pursuit, but which demands all aspects of intellect and emotion. That’s a tremendous challenge and incredibly interesting, rewarding terrain. Isn’t that why we chose this path?

Mary, English Professor, at 4:35 am EDT on August 1, 2008

re: ABC/PhD

This is going to rankle a few and downright anger some but it IS my own opinion and I am entitled to it: I find it ridiculous when people get so defensive over comments which are so clearly NOT intended to offend, whether outright or back-handed. When completely stripped to the bone, we see that this kind of defensiveness usually comes from either a lack of understanding (ie. communication problem) or the person’s own fear and regret. I mean, honestly, who are any of us to think that we have a right to demand that another person hold the same opinion of any topic, whether it is near and dear to us, something we loathe or something between the two? Just for the record, I’ve been on both sides of this fence and enjoyed both immensely. I’ve also, at times, found both to be quite a pain even if worth the effort.

Connie, Been There, Done That but SO WHAT?, at 8:15 pm EDT on August 17, 2008

home has intangible value but also high costs

Thanks for this entry. It couldn’t be more timely and from the length of this post you can tell it hit a nerve.So here’s our story:

My husband and I were part of the great Western PA diaspora. When steel and all manufacturing ended here during the late 1970s everyone who graduated from high school/college had to leave to find a job. I left for Boston, DH to Washington, D.C. At present, there are two generations who regularly migrate home @ Christmas when class reunions and Steeler parties are held with old friends.

My husband and I returned to Western PA at different times to care for ailing parents, and I to finish two undergrad majors and attend graduate school.

By the time I earned the Ph.D. we were married. His care responsibilities ended and mine had yet to begin. At present I help 3 elderly adults, cool parents and a grandparent from the Great Depression generation. Though I am honored to help them, my career has suffered greatly by trying to remain near family and meet care committments. As part of the sandwich generation, I also have a young son who is 2.

Other academics who used to be good friends did not respect my choice to stay. They believe I am somehow less serious about my career and research because I, as an only child with a Kantian dilemma, have made the choice to stay within 2 hours of family. Thus, I am currently on an unpaid sabbatical to resurrect my career.

My husband is 50+ and I 40+; all of our business contacts are here. The cost of living is low and our childcare support network includes family and friends that we trust implicitly. Yet, I could kick myself for staying near family and possibly sacrificing an interesting intellectual career. Though it is the ethical thing to do, it is the hardest choice I have ever had to make.

I am willing to take short term post-doc fellowships as I can spend 6-12 months away. However, there is an implicit prejudice against women who mother and serve as caregivers in our culture and it plays out i academia too. Before I became a mom, I heard many women (85% of female Ph.Ds do not have kids) say horrid things about colleagues who mothered. Bottom line: this is our home, but the costs of staying were quite high!

By the way, in an ironic twist, Richard Florida also fled Pittsburgh for the more temperate climate in Florida.

phree, dr., at 5:35 pm EDT on July 24, 2008

thanks for your note

Aeron: Thanks for your kind words here and in other posts. I am a full-time faculty member at one of the schools where I teach and thus, I could, and probably will at some point, have to take advantage of FMLA.However, my main point in the above post is that we women too often have to choose between a career and meeting family commitments. The professional cost is high and sometimes the choice is irretrievable in terms of career loss because our own colleagues (many women included) have either explicit or implicit biases against women who are caregivers or mothers. Specifically, I cannot tell colleagues about the elder caregiving because it diminishes professional stature and access to opportunities. Other professional friends who hire and fire tell me that they regularly mommy-track women who share my level of family commitment (the older parent, young child mix). I have heard horror stories about Ph.D. candidates who were pregnant losing committee members for a perceived lack of seriousness concerning their careers.

Oddly, I have not seen a parallel with male colleagues though I am sure it does happen when a male colleague has to take advantage of FMLA. Humbly, I think this is the issue we should investigate if we want to retain good colleagues and exemplify the egalitarian values we academics seem to advocate for everyone else.

phree, at 1:05 pm EDT on July 27, 2008

High school—college disconnect

Libby,

One of the issues you raise is the lack of connection between high school and college teaching. As teachers we work with many of the same students, one summer removed, yet we rarely talk to each other. This is caused by many factors —one being the fact that we’ve been educated on different tracks, etc.

As a former Chair of English, I can’t say I’ve done much to strengthen the ties between our department and local high schools, but I did facilitate one such meeting and it was eye-opening for all of us.

As much as I’d like to forget high school exists (I hated it as a teenager), I think we need to work together more.

Aeron, at 11:40 am EDT on July 29, 2008

critical thinking

Your observations and MaryBeth’s raise issues about reading and critical thinking that I’ve struggled with more in the past five years than in my previous fifteen years of teaching college freshmen. Increasingly, as MaryBeth observes, students just want me to tell them the “right” answer about what they’ve read. And then, if it’s a double potions class, they’d like me to tell them all the ingredients I put in the cauldron in order to get that “right” answer.

Jeanne, at 1:55 pm EDT on July 30, 2008

It’s not our high school...

I’ve just completed reading all the above postings, which have generated enough material for several weeks’ thought.

I’m on the tail end of having raised two high-school students (22, done; 17, entering junior year) and have gotten to know them and their friends quite well through the years.

Some thoughts:

1. Although we are supposedly living in the No Child Left Behind era, with our Education President at the helm, funding for public schools has severely diminished, with the attendant consequences of fewer personnel and shoddy material. Art, drama, and music education are present only if provided by the efforts of parents. Sometimes persons and organizations outside the school system offer education in these subjects out of concern for the community. Private schools offer these subjects, as do public schools in affluent areas.

Students, therefore, have had others choose to make their worlds smaller. Something has to fill the void, and digital culture is everywhere and available. For those not academically inclined, the fine arts might provide a pathway toward the “harder” subjects. Mostly, YouTube and Facebook do not.

2. On the high school level, at least where I live, there are many homes without an adult present after school. The best of students will be sorely tempted to ditch homework, even if only to read the book they want. Others are “hanging out” or roaming the streets, knowing that exhausted parents will not be asking too many questions when they get home. Some parents still hate high school, and will automatically take the student’s side.

3. Drugs are easy to get and, trust me, unstoppable. The impact on education is obvious. Ironically, alcohol and cigarettes are harder to get because they are subject legal constraints. We fought the war (on drugs) and the drugs won.

4. Some teachers still attempt to inspire discussion, thought, and sometimes scholarly activity in their students’ lives. Working within the No Child Left Behind environment, the feeling is almost as if they’re being sneaky by departing from rigid, linear teaching modes which teach almost excusively to the test. It’s never been easy to engage high school students, but with teachers being forced to teach in an especially boring way, the students hate school. Many will equate school with learning.

5. Again, the computer. Many students have computers in their bedrooms. They fall asleep in class. Even with a machine in the hall near the kitchen, one is quite challenged to get a teenager to log off and get to bed. Some of your students may have gotten to bed at 3-4 a.m., woken up at 6, and show up in your class. In class they may be texting on cell phones the size of a credit card, or listening to music, or playing Tetris, or...

Never mind the content they are viewing. The time spend in front of the screen is an enormous impediment to their learning.

Teaching has gotten more challenging, with many extra-curricular factors to reckon with. Good luck...despite all, much good still happens between students and caring, determined teachers.

miracatta, at 3:05 pm EDT on August 2, 2008

It’s only preschool. . .

It’s only preschool? I thought that the whole impetus behind Head Start and 4 year old kindergarten was that it wasn’t “only” preschool, that research showed that children enrolled in “good” preschools performed better, or something. I don’t know.

I similarly went to a school (pre-K through 7th grade) that was relatively unstructured and, indeed, I played a lot and it took me FOREVER to learn how to read — this was a private school that was pretty expensive and my working class parents made enormous sacrifices to send me and my sister there. When I started high school I was behind most of my peers in almost all subjects, BUT I learned some REALLY valuable skills at that school that enabled me to quickly catch up and really excel. I graduated at the top of my class. I was the first person in my family to get a college degree AND I went on to get my PhD. My early experiences in school, at this very unstructured, but exceptional environment, have affected the way that I do almost everything. Although I didn’t learn some of the basics I did learn how to structure my own life, set goals, accomplish goals, reflect on and understand my own wants and needs and figure out how to live the life that would make me happiest. I am eternally grateful to my parents for this experience and thus, in picking preschool programs and schools for my own two children, I have spent a lot of time trying to find the “right” place for them.

Jean, at 9:10 am EDT on July 31, 2008

Anne—I agree with you about the cut off dates for school. It’s interesting that more parents are waiting, or “holding back” their children to give them an edge, whereas a while back, it seemed ambitious parents wanted their children to skip ahead.

We have decided to keep our daughter in her current daycare/pre-school. She’s happy there and that seems most important.

Jean—I too feel that my alternative school changed my life (and made me very suspicious of all teaching-to-the-tests programs!) But these radical schools are few and far between. For most parents, the choices are between various traditional pre-schools. Please email me: I’d love to hear more about your experimental school experience! hayniea@uwgb.edu

Aeron, at 9:40 am EDT on July 31, 2008

Our daughter (now 5) had been at daycare/preschool since she was 8-9 weeks old. We had an opportunity last year to enroll her in a private school in the progressive tradition, that is JK — 8. She was the youngest in JK (turned 5 in May) but loved it and really thrived. We are going the private route due to a 50% scholarship for university faculty — I figured it was worth trying at JK and we’d go to public school if we didn’t like it. That said, we loved it. I personally think you are doing the right thing by signing up for the new K class — a more ’structured’ learning experience can only go so far at that age but I preferred the exposure to various subjects and a ‘real school’ experience vs another year of preschool with less qualified (yet very loving!) folks.

Jean, I’m curious, what type of school did you attend that was ‘unstructured’—sounds like it served you well and that it was also of the progressive model?

Audrey, at 12:40 pm EDT on July 31, 2008