• Confessions of a Community College Dean

    In which a veteran of cultural studies seminars in the 1990s moves into academic administration and finds himself a married suburban father of two. Foucault, plus lawn care.

Title

Breakfast with The Boy

TB: Yesterday I was scared when I was in my room. I thought I saw an alien go by outside the window.

DD: Really?

TB: Yeah. I thought he landed on the roof.

DD: He couldn't land on the roof. It's slanted.

TB: Santa lands on the roof.

(pause)

TB: Santa has magic, though.

DD: True. Aliens would slide off the roof. And when was the last time you saw an alien lying on the ground, saying “that's gonna hurt tomorrow”?

TB: (laugh)

DD: Besides, aliens seem to like deserts better. There aren't any deserts around here.

May 6, 2009
 
 

TB: Yesterday I was scared when I was in my room. I thought I saw an alien go by outside the window.

DD: Really?

TB: Yeah. I thought he landed on the roof.

DD: He couldn't land on the roof. It's slanted.

TB: Santa lands on the roof.

(pause)

TB: Santa has magic, though.

DD: True. Aliens would slide off the roof. And when was the last time you saw an alien lying on the ground, saying “that's gonna hurt tomorrow”?

TB: (laugh)

DD: Besides, aliens seem to like deserts better. There aren't any deserts around here.

TB (thoughtfully): I wonder if aliens fart.

DD: Probably. It might smell like cinnamon.

TB: I bet our farts smell like cinnamon to them!

DD: Yeah, they could follow us around, smelling us.

TB: Just like dogs! They could smell our butts!

DD: (robotic voice) TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER. (make fart noise) OOH, CINNAMON!

TB: (laugh) Yeah! They'd want us to eat lots of burritos!

DD: (laugh)

TB: I wonder if Barack Obama eats burritos.

DD: I hope so. He could save us all!

After that, a day of academic administration doesn't seem so scary...

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