I’m the best teacher who ever lived. Anyway I think that’s what the Provost said in the letter she sent to congratulate me for winning the Campus Award for Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching. I’m honored most by the fact that my former and present students generated and supported my nomination, and that I’ll be presented at a ceremony with a sack of money, which I hear will buy things.
Yeah, that’s right, Arkansas Ag College. You didn’t bother to call me for a job interview this year, did you? Huh? You said in the listing you valued undergraduate instruction above everything else, but a decade of experience at a Big 10 university and a proven track record didn’t do it for you? Who’s sorry now? Huh? Ah-hahahahahaha, oh-hohohoho.
[Note to self: Consider revising tone before posting; don’t want to seem ungraciou