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Just when I was beginning to consider a new topic, as luck had it, an opportunity arose—an opportunity that started out pretty negatively. I wrote a post recently that led to a few snarky comments. The first comment was minor, a grammatical error being noted. Yet the way in which it was addressed was just unpleasant enough to be agitating. Mercifully, the comment was not personally threatening, as I have seen experienced by other women. Instead, it was just enough to incite discussion on the topic of anonymity and online aggression.
So at first, I had my reaction. I felt attacked and vulnerable in a public forum. I felt done with writing.
Yet somewhere I had learned to seek out mentors and supportive colleagues for guidance. What I found was pure treasure. From a sociological listserv (which I highly recommend to anyone interested in gender or culture), I was met with an outpouring of support.
So for others who are unsure of whether to allow yourself to be heard, whether to share your experiences/thoughts/suggestions with the aim of creating positive change, here are a few suggestions and some encouragement I received:
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Don’t let it get it you down. You are doing good work, keep it up—when you rock the boat, people will react.
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It’s okay to not read the comments, as people are more highly critical and even outright aggressive behind the “mask” of anonymity (as suggested by Afshan Jafar’s post about anonymity online).
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It’s okay to not engage with those writing the comments. Often the negative/nasty comments are written to incite a reaction.
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As Eleanor Roosevelt said “grow skin as thick as a rhinoceros” (as suggested by Leta Hong Fincher, author of 'Leftover Women: The Resurgence of Gender Inequality in China', 2014)
Others have been bullied to stopping writing. I hope I don’t have to confront that and that others will also be relieved of threatening comments. But for now, when online bullying is under-addressed, I can look towards others who have persevered and thank them for their honesty and willingness to share their own experience, strength, and hope.
