2013 Campus Joke Issues

April 1, 2013

It's April 1 and that means some campus journalists have been busy coming up with fake news to entertain their campuses today. At New York University, where President John Sexton has been under fire for international expansion and bonuses for administrators, The Washington Square News reported that Sexton would be taking over "The Tonight Show" from Jay Leno. Naturally, fake Sexton doesn't think the show can manage with but one location. From the article: "Sexton’s plans to change the form of 'The Tonight Show' have also been met with criticism. The host plans to turn the show into a global franchise at enormous cost to shareholders, starting with 'The Tonight Show Abu Dhabi,' premiering this September. Early projections indicate the program will draw in literally a dozen viewers, making it one of NBC’s top-rated programs."

The GW Hatchet at George Washington University decided to focus on this year's (real) news that the university lost its rank in U.S. News & World Report after a scandal over incorrect information submitted to the magazine. Everything turned out just fine, according to the joke issue, because the university's lack of a ranking attracted hipster applicants. From the article: "In interviews with accepted students – who took spring campus tours sporting non-prescription glasses, checkered scarves and beer-stained Wavves T-shirts – most said they were drawn to GW’s newfound anonymity after it was kicked off the U.S. News & World Report’s top colleges list last fall. 'GW isn’t on any big rankings list. The problem with schools like the University of Texas or Texas A&M, as great as they are, is that you’ve heard of them,' Amaro Hudson, a prospective student from Austin, Texas, said."

And at the University of Pennsylvania (which ran its joke issue last week), The Daily Pennsylvanian made fun of crackdowns on Greek life, and the shock expressed by campus officials about fraternity life. From the article: "The university has withdrawn recognition from 15 fraternities after discovering that at least half, but probably all, of the fraternities on campus participate in alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, hazing, loud music playing and other activities that are completely typical of fraternities everywhere. According to Director of the Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life Scott Reikofski, some of the 'frat' members were even caught smoking marijuana, which university officials noted is commonly referred to as 'pot,' 'weed' or 'reefer.'"


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