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The National Student Clearinghouse is celebrating the holiday season by releasing Santa's transcript. He double majored in business administration and adolescent behavior at North Pole University, taking courses such as celestial navigation and reindeer breeding. The clearinghouse, always sensitive to federal privacy laws, noted that Santa gave permission for his transcript (see below) to be released.

If anyone has Judah Maccabee's transcript -- we believe he studied political science at the University of Modiin -- we would share that document as well.