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November 02, 2024

An Up-Close and Personal Look at Presidential Life

What it's like to live in the president's house when you're not the president.

By  Rachel Toor

The Sandbox

Inside Higher Ed Insider
Sandbox doors

From Rachel Toor

More than two decades ago, I wrote about being the child of academics.

Faculty brats are a thing. Many of us know that story.

The story most may not know is what it’s like to live in the president’s house as a kid or spouse. Or rather, the stories. Because your mileage may vary.

A goal of The Sandbox is to make visible some of the joys and challenges of leading colleges and universities at a particularly challenging time. And to provide a tasty snack to go with Saturday morning coffee before you dive into all the (bad) news.

Another goal, if we’re honest, is to ask for support for the free journalism Inside Higher Ed provides. Higher ed media is in about the same financial shape as the industry we cover. (Right: yikes!) That’s why The Sandbox is behind a modest paywall. Also to deter those who want to spit haterade from the cheap seats.

If you like this quirky newsletter and want it (and IHE)  to continue to thrive, please encourage others to join. Go ahead and forward profligately to anyone you think might benefit from seeing unvarnished accounts from our leaders. And remind current and former presidents and chancellors that we want to hear from them.

Thanks for reading, peeps. Remember, as our friends in the newspaper biz remind us every day, democracy dies in darkness—especially when billionaires control the media. (Hiya, Jeff B!)

A few weeks ago, I ranted that no one should be calling students “kids.” (At some point, I’ll weigh in on the general use of “you guys.” It’s sexist, y’all.)

What follows is from a kid. A pretty darned awesome president’s kid.

https://www.eventcreate.com/e/presidentiallectureseries

Want to advertise here?

The writer is the child of a current president.

My mom asked me to email and apologizes it took her so long to tell me. She’s busy she said … not too busy to read your emails apparently … but I digress.

I am 14. We moved into the president’s house a little over two years ago. We move when my mom gets a new gig. She’s a “big deal” she tells me. Meh. If she says so. Seriously she actually is amazing and she and my dad are both great.

So what is it like to be the president’s kid? Crazy. Weird. Uncomfortable. Fun. Empowering. Mostly it’s just weird and uncomfortable though. At least for me.

I am an only child and I go to school at a private school about 40 minutes from campus. So my friends don’t live near me. It’s lonely. Yet I am surrounded by thousands of people who know my name. People who ask me how softball is going, how’s my horseback riding. Did I enjoy my vacation? How is AP pre-calc? Would I like chef to make me more sugar cookies? What the heck man? I don’t know you. Wtf?

Our house is behind one of the party dorms on campus. When they get to partying hard, my bedroom is on the side of the house that hears it. My mom and dad’s isn’t. I’ve gotten used to it and have gotten to know enough students that I will yell out my window for them to shut up or in the daytime walk over and remind them I have homework even if they don’t.

I do love being on campus so I can easily walk over to see football games, to get a smoothie at the caf. And it’s not all bad when everyone knows you cuz I get a lot of free swag.

But mostly it’s lonely. I’ve gotten closer with my dad as he had to give up his job so mom could take this job. That’s been really hard on him. But good for me I think.

And my mom is way way way more chill as president than when she was a provost. That job sucked! But my mom can’t go to all of my games, she isn’t home sometimes when I need help with my homework (dad sucks at math), or when I need to just yell and scream about my dad being bossy or my friends being jerks. I know she feels really bad about it so I don’t mention it but I do miss her. Don’t tell her that though cuz she will spiral about it and then drive me nuts.

I miss owning our own house too. I didn’t pick this house and neither did my parents. It’s laid out really bad, it’s not really a “family” house and sometimes I feel like we aren’t really a “family” but a set of people that get “staged” to make other people happy.

I hope other kids write you. I would love to know what they think about this tiny sliver of fishbowl life we share.

PS- please tell my mom she can get off my back about this now 🤪

If you want to get this email, please become a member

JOIN TODAY

 

Email me if you want to chat. Or have your spouse, partner, child, or animal contribute.

Sandbox - WIllie

Willie, soon to be a president’s grandhorse. 

The Sandbox

Not your typical weekly newsletter. This is a space where presidents and chancellors can say what they really think without fear. Everyone is welcome to read, but only those who have been in the top job can submit to us. The Sandbox, by Rachel Toor, is an exclusive benefit of our paid Insider membership program.

 

 

The Sandbox Archive

The Worst of Times: FY 2025–26

October 3, 2026

Hiring a Leadership Team

September 26, 2026

The Real Text Messages of Lady Presidents

September 19, 2026

Retreat Rights

September 12, 2026

What Does a College Student Look Like?

August 29, 2026
View All
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