What Would Dr. Seuss Say?

Bonnie Gordon pens a poem about the pandemic in his style.

July 24, 2020
 
 
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I am sad
I am mad
Sad and Mad I am

 

Do you like this plan?
I do not like this plan
I do not like that plan
Sad and Mad I am

 

No thank you to the focus group
I’d rather clean a chicken coop

 

I do not want your survey
I did two for you in May
Also, one the other day

 

I would not like to teach on Zoom
I would not like to in a room

 

I do not like to see their rooms with beds
I do not like to see their maskless heads

 

I could not would not teach at Dawn
I would not could not teach at Dusk

 

I do not want asynchronic
It does not have a tonic

 

I do not want synchronic
It cannot be symphonic 

 

You say, “Do you have a better plan.”
No, I do not have a better plan.
But still “I do not like your plan”

 

“Yes, please,” to teaching Hybrid
Said no one who has a kid

 

Would you could you teach a blend?
You mean one that has no end
That will push me round the bend

 

Would you try this training program?
I’d rather eat green eggs and ham

 

Do you like this plan?
I do not like this plan
I do not like that plan
Sad and Mad I am

 

Do not forget the hardest part
that even though they’re very very smart
They will not stay six feet apart

 

They will not touch and kiss their friends you say
Don’t bet on this if you don’t want to pay

 

They should not ride a bus
If they have snot or pus

 

And the gym they must cut off
If they have the smallest cough

 

if you think they’ll mind the rules
Then you’re on a ship of fools

 

Do you like this plan?
I do not like this plan
I do not like that plan
I do not have a plan
Sad and Mad I am

Bio

Bonnie Gordon is associate professor of music and faculty director of the Equity Center at the University of Virginia.

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