April Fool(s)proof Speech Builder

A fool-proof guide to presidential speech-writing.

April 1, 2014

On this first day of April, I would like to share a fool-proof guide to presidential speech-writing. Use the following to generate a powerful opening, and the rest of the speech writes itself. 

Note: you will need a six-sided die (not included).

“This ______________ gives me ____________ about the _________     _________     __________.”

1. scholarly lecture insight acute    human experience
2. exhibition wisdom authentic shared sensibility
3. performance knowledge challenging communal existence
4. poster presentation hope incisive common perspective
5. student protest motivation poignant liberal arts journey
6. faculty insurrection excitement paradigmatic educational encounter

Steve Bahls is President of Augustana College in Illinois.  The Fool(s)proof  Speech Builder was designed by his son, Timothy Bahls, a software engineer in Madison, Wisconsin, who has heard many presidential speeches.


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