Swans

Melina Patterson once told me she had a friend whose nickname was “Swan.” The nickname came from the friend’s ability to seem graceful and smooth on the surface while paddling like hell underneath. I’ve stolen the metaphor a few times because it’s too good not to steal.

On Saturday, when The Girl went driving, with me as passenger/consultant, she mentioned that she was terrified. I complimented her on her outward calm and shared the swan metaphor with her. In the context of driving, I suggested, most people are perfectly capable of being at least good enough; the real challenge is often emotional control. If they can manage their own emotions, the driving itself isn’t so bad. If she could keep her own anxiety under control, keeping the car under control is much easier. She did both.

TG has always been good at projecting poise and confidence outwardly, even when she’s trembling internally. It was part of what made her a lethal debater. Blustery confidence is one thing; cool confidence is infinitely more effective. If you have to fake it until you make it, well, that’s a life skill well worth developing.

I mention this partly to acknowledge a writerly debt to Patterson and partly to brag on TG, but mostly as a suggestion for how college administrators and faculty need to conduct ourselves this week. This week is likely to be a doozy.

Many of us are emotionally invested in the outcome of the election. I certainly am. My family is. Our friends are. Many faculty and students are. Judging by the escalating war of lawn signs in my neighborhood, many of my neighbors are. Over the course of this week, and probably longer, I expect that many people will be utterly enervated by it.

This is when the “example setting” part of leadership matters.

When leaders show cool confidence and maintain outward composure, they set a tone. People around them -- whether students, colleagues or whoever else -- pick up on that tone. In moments of great emotional fragility, composure and poise make it possible for others to do their best work. If nothing else, it can help make work a relative haven of “normal” in a week when a haven of normal may be at a premium. It also reflects the simple truth that classes and meetings will be populated by people with different opinions who still need to work together, or at least be able to learn.

None of this is to counsel denial. It’s more like the difference between fearlessness and courage. Fearlessness is the lack of fear, which may be rooted in obliviousness. Small children chasing balls into streets are fearless because they’re clueless. Courage is being afraid but acting anyway. This week, we need to be courageous. We need to be swans, even if it involves paddling like hell under the surface.