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My leg is trapped under a heavy steel beam. An unnamed politician arrives on the scene.
Pol: Great to meet you! I’m terribly wonderful. How are you?
Me: In a bit of a jam. Could you help me lift this beam off my leg?
Pol: Helping with the beam is off the table. It’s not exciting. Is there something more … entrepreneurial?
Me: What?
Pol: You know, something sexier. Anybody can just (mocking voice) “lift a beam off a leg.” That’s old-school thinking.
Me: But I’m trapped, and it’s really painful.
Pol: Yes, you’re trapped in old ways of thinking. You need to think bigger!
Me: The. Beam. Is. On. My. Leg.
Pol: Don’t be dogmatic. Politics is about compromise! What if we incentivized the beam to relocate?
Me: It’s an inanimate object. I’d still be trapped.
Pol: You need to understand the beam’s point of view. It’s there for a reason, you know.
Me: Yes, it’s called gravity. That’s why I need help lifting it.
Pol: Gravity? Isn’t that some sort of science theory? The theory of gravity? I prefer to deal in facts.
Me: (disbelieving expression)
Pol: I mean, have you ever seen gravity? I’m just asking questions.
Me: You can’t be serious. Lift the beam and I promise you’ll feel gravity working.
Pol: Serious? How dare you, sir? You elitists with your “science” and “theories” …
Me: I’m losing a lot of blood here. A little help?
Pol: It’s disgraceful the way people just bleed all over the streets now. No respect for the hardworking public that drives to work every day. Not like it used to be, y’know?
Me: (passes out)
Pol: Good talk. Our system is all about civil dialogue. Now let’s see if we can get some of that blood cleaned up.
