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The end of the fall semester often culminates in a sort of necessary chaos, both joyous and challenging—grading, reporting, playoffs, end-of-year philanthropic giving, December graduation, holiday gatherings, trustee meetings and students moving out of residence halls. Emotions run high. So much needs to be accomplished before we can all get some desperately needed rest and relaxation.
Here’s my new take on an old holiday favorite. For a bit of levity, imagine the provost and president dealing with all that’s happening right now.
The 12 Days of Finals
(Sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)
On the first day of finals, my provost sent to me
A student with a late fee
On the second day of finals, my provost sent to me
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the third day of finals, my provost sent to me
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the fourth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the fifth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the sixth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the seventh day of finals, my provost sent to me
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the eighth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Eight pipes a-bursting
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the ninth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Nine budgets tanking
Eight pipes a-bursting
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the tenth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Ten deans a-striving
Nine budgets tanking
Eight pipes a-bursting
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
On the eleventh day of finals, my provost sent to me
Eleven adjuncts griping
Ten deans a-striving
Nine budgets tanking
Eight pipes a-bursting
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And student with a late fee
On the twelfth day of finals, my provost sent to me
Twelve alumni pining
Eleven adjuncts griping
Ten deans a-striving
Nine budgets tanking
Eight pipes a-bursting
Seven athletes a-winning
Six staff a-crying
Five old trustees
Four calling moms
Three major gifts
Two branded mugs
And a student with a late fee
And a student with a late fee.
