• Mama PhD

    Mothers attempting to balance parenthood and academics.


New Semester Resolutions

A fresh start.

February 3, 2016

I’ve read a chapter of The Cricket in Times Square to my daughter, used a list of my son’s vocabulary words in our morning conversation (he was quite boisterous this morning, which might make us acutely aware of the need to be resolute about our rule for not partaking in food outside our kitchen in order to protect our abode), arranged for my youngest to wear a completely brown outfit in honor of Groundhog Day, made three lunches and two snacks within the guidelines of each school’s wellness policy, communicated with the teacher regarding my misspelled email address in the class list,  explained the purpose of caucuses from a neutral political viewpoint, cleaned up Legos, built a pretend trough for Wilbur (it’s the end of Charlotte’s Web month at one of the schools), helped four students with registration problems, answered questions from administration, problem solved Blackboard issues so students could see the online portion of my class, and put the final touches on my syllabus. All this before 7:30 am! This isn’t the second shift; it’s the early shift. The latest semester has begun.

In an effort to achieve a better work-life balance, I’ve taken some advise from a few recent studies made a few changes this semester for both home and work.

First, I’m going to try not to take on the emotional energy that women are more likely to endure both at home and at work, as this op-ed illustrates. Though it won’t be easy, I am not going to listen to the stories students tell me about all of their problems. I will send them to appropriate people for help, but I can’t always be the one that they come to for their problems. At home, I will listen to the emotional problems of my children, but I’m not going to try to solve them. It’s ridiculous to think that I can help my child with her lunchroom seating issues from home. She’s going to have to figure it out.

I will attempt to “flip the classroom” more. For my new hybrid class, the online portion will replace my lectures, and in-person sessions will be purely discussion-based. Within my home classroom (homework time), I will allow my children to do more of their homework without my hovering, as apparently parents’ helping with homework doesn’t help students in the long term anyway.

I’m going to try to be more present wherever I am, so I am going to avoid checking email from places where I’m not in a position to respond to the requests. Doing so merely ends up only with me soaking up the emotional energy of the email. I’m going to encourage my students to be present during class time as well.

I’m going to say no. I will say no to committees I’m not interested in, to things I don’t really want to “volunteer” (or be volunteered) to do. I will apply this to both work and home. I’m not going to enroll my daughters in a sport to make them more well-rounded human beings when they don’t care about it much and I don’t enjoy watching children engaged in sporting activities (there, I admitted it). I will not help a student with her resume unless I really, really want to because I don’t enjoy writing cover letters for other people.

I will try to achieve more balance between desire and obligation, things I can control and those I can’t, and resist the temptation of being technologically connected so that I don’t miss real moments.

What are your new semester resolutions?


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