7 New Lounges at EDUCAUSE to Complement the CIO Lounge

A progressive and rapid response to Michael Berman's CIO Lounge critique.

September 24, 2014

We should give credit to EDUCAUSE for their progressive and rapid response to Michael Berman’s (socialistic) worries about the exclusivity the CIO Lounge. 

Rather than ditching the lounge (which as we all know would be fiscally irresponsible if not morally reprehensible), EDUCAUSE will be providing a series of new lounge spaces at the 2014 conference.  

The 7 new lounges that will be debuting at EDUCAUSE 2014 Include:

The "I Would Rather Relate To My Gadgets Lounge”:  Talking with other EDUCAUSE attendees in this lounge is not only discouraged, it is actively prohibited.  This lounge is a safe place to come and re-convene with your phone, tablet or computer.  There is some concern that everyone visiting EDUCAUSE will want to spend all their time in this lounge.  Therefore, it will be equipped with 8,000 power outlets and a WiFi signal strong enough to heat a burrito.

The “I’m Still Managing Everything Back On Campus Because I’m So Essential Lounge”:  This lounge is designed explicitly for campus technology professionals who are too important, essential, and brilliant to really have any business going to a conference.   The lounge can also accommodate EDUCAUSE attendees who are leaving a staff of complete incompetents back on campus, as the lounge will allow constant checking in and decision making.  High definition telepresence equipment will be provided.

The “I’m Totally Depressed About My Budget Lounge”:  This new lounge at EDUCAUSE 2014 will be staffed by professional grief counselors to listen to your campus IT budget woes.  An open bar will also accept EDUCAUSE drink tickets.  

The “I Think that Educational Technology May Be Overhyped But I’m Too Embarrassed to Admit It Lounge”:  This lounge is a safe space for edtech skeptics, critics, and disbelievers.  The word “disruption” is banned from being spoken aloud in this lounge.   

The “If I Hear the Word Innovation One More Time Then I’m Not Responsible for My Actions Lounge”:  This lounge will contain a display of retro technology, such as a seminar table and a selection of actual paper books.  Attendees are encouraged to come to this lounge to fortify themselves for the next vendor presentation where the words “innovative” and “innovation” are sure to be mentioned in counts that can reach the thousands.

The “Unofficial Apple Lounge”:  This lounge is for all those EDUCAUSE 2014 attendees who would have liked to understand Apple’s plans for higher education but are unable to do so as Apple is not represented on the Vendor Floor.  Attendees of this lounge are free to make anything up that they wish about Apple’s higher ed plans.

The "Mediocre Career Advice Lounge”:  This lounge is the ideal opportunity to receive mediocre career advice from mid-level and downwardly mobile academic IT professionals.  You will hear about the need to “think strategically”, and to make a contribution to your campus and to your professional organization.  

Which lounge do you plan to frequent?

It is not too early to think about additional lounges for EDUCAUSE 2015.  Any suggestions?


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