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{Ring…ring…ring…}
Bill Gates: Oh, come on. Pick up!
{Ring…ring…}
BG: Last chance!
Fund-Raiser: Hello! Office of development, Harvard University. How can I help you?
BG: I want to speak with a fund-raiser.
FR: Speaking!
BG: Great. This is Bill Gates. You know, THE Bill Gates. The Microsoft guy.
FR: Yeah, O.K. Like I haven’t heard that one before.
BG: No, really. Don’t I sound like Bill Gates? Should we Skype instead?
FR: Uh, sorry, Mr. Gates. What can I do for you?
BG: I just attended Harvard’s campaign kickoff event. Very impressive stuff. $6.5 billion is a pretty big goal, wouldn’t you say?
FR: The biggest ever!
BG: Well, I’ve been giving some thought to how I can help. I’d like to begin discussing a gift.
FR: That’s fantastic! How much… er, what are you interested in supporting?
BG: I’m not sure. I’m a bit of a techie, you know, so computer science and engineering pique my interest. But if I were to go that route, I might as well donate to MIT.
FR: {nervous laugh}
BG: Kidding. I’m also into social causes and international concerns, so perhaps something at the Ed School or Kennedy School could be interesting. But of course I’m a businessman at heart, so I kind of gravitate to the B-School.
FR: Perhaps you should speak with the president or the business dean.
BG: In time. For now, I’m just exploring options. I could fund scholarships for undergrads. I did attend the College, you know.
FR: For about a week, right?
BG: Something like that. And I’m a proud alumnus.
FR: We’re proud too.
BG: In fact, I’m thankful enough to make a really significant gift to your campaign. I hear these mega-campaigns get 95 percent of their money from only 5 percent of the donors. Is that true?
FR: Absolutely. We’re not raising $6.5 billion a hundred grand at a pop.
BG: And what’s the highest gift you’re expecting?
FR: Lead gifts can total 15-20 percent of the goal.
BG: So that’s, let me see… carry the four… about a billion dollars?
FR: Suppose so.
BG: Wouldn’t that be a record too?
FR: Sure would!
BG: Hmmm…. So back to the B-School. What if I gave half a billion to rename it?
FR: Say what?
BG: The Gates School of Business. Think it would fly?
FR: I… uh… don’t think so.
BG: Why not? I could rename Cleveland for that amount.
FR: Harvard Business School has more brand cachet than Cleveland.
BG: A cool billion? Would they go for it then?
FR: I’m not sure the name is for sale. Even for that sum. We have too much brand equity at stake.
BG: But I’d be adding value to the brand! Gates… Harvard… business. Come on now! I bet my pal Warren would think it’s a great idea.
FR: Get him to match your gift and maybe we’ll talk. Meanwhile, how about naming a building?
BG: For a billion? Must be one hell of a building. How about the Gates Campus at Harvard Business School?
FR: Sounds like we’ve built a fortress to keep people out.
BG: Nah… I still think naming the school is the way to go. Everything has a price.
FR: That’s for others to decide.
BG: Two billion… Gates University… hmmm…. Sorry, was that out loud?
FR: I’ll patch you through to the president’s office. Thanks for calling, Mr. Gates!
BG: How much to rename the Ivy League? Hmmm….
FR: Transferring!
