From Rachel Toor
A Modest Proposal
Since we now know it’s illegal to discriminate, but it’s perfectly okay to target for retribution anyone who disagrees with you, here’s an idea.
Having worked in highly selective private university admissions, I know there’s always an abundance of qualified applicants. You could erase an entire class and get one just as good from the next group of apps. You craft a cohort. You need an oboe player, athletic teams, some Woolf-loving math whizzes, plenty of rural vals. It’s art, not science.
Private universities no longer beholden to the federal government could repurpose the jobs of those who were formerly charged with recruiting a diverse class and give them another task—to look closely at applicants’ family ties.
Take a page from the stable geniuses running the country. Send out (late on the day before applications are due) a Dear Colleague letter: “As we continue to cultivate a community of learners, we are committed to making higher ed great again.”
Applicants with any connection to anyone who criticized inclusivity work, referred to colleges as “woke,” or used the phrase “Real America” on any form of social media: straight to the deny pile.
Sure, it’s the next generation that will be penalized. But their elders (in positions of power) have shown us that children don’t matter if they don’t have the right parents.
We can let them know their message has been received. Higher ed is a scam, an overpriced luxury, an indoctrination machine, a zero-ROI grift. This would just make things easier and save loyal American families all that money they pay private consultants to write their kids’ college essays to gain admission to their alma maters.
To Sign or Not to Sign
I’ve talked to lots of folks about signing on to letters. One president said, “I am concerned about putting a target on any of our students or their families. If something I said or signed caused ICE to look into the backgrounds of our students, and a student or family member ended up in detention, I would never forgive myself.”
We support those who sign. And we hope for tolerance and understanding for others who don’t want to give Chris and Max higher ed haters a hit list.
I watched a recent address by a president and was so struck by the way he began that I want to share it with you.
“With so much change and uncertainty afoot today, in our world, in our nation, and in our state, I want to tell you today that I am struggling. Perhaps you are struggling as well. I am struggling both to keep up with the changes and to figure out what I can do, how I can lead. And right now, my biggest challenge is to distinguish between what I can influence and lead directly versus spending my energies and efforts on situations I certainly do not control and most likely cannot even influence.”
And if you need ideas for how to respond to pissed-off alumni, here’s a sample letter.
